Over the past few weeks, I’ve had several emails read to me that were sent from you people, wondering if this new…
You know what pisses me off the most? Shitty wood. It’s worse than posers decked out in cubic zirconia and socks…
It’s officially summer and I’m told that the commonfolk start bellyaching for something called a “vacation” during…
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Whoever said that all men are created equal was full of shit. All men are not created equal and those differences…
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Summer is upon us once again, which means that I will have to travel to the disgusting cesspool of New York City at…
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I suppose some of you might think I’m a gold-thirsty and heartless monster, but I didn’t ask for this reputation,…
As I have laid out to you before, I hate using public roadways. Not only is the plebish threat of traffic a very…
You know what the problem with people today is? Total lack of foresight. Everyone’s so focused on what’s right in…
I won’t hide my disgust when it comes to Las Vegas; I find it visually offensive. I look away in disgust at all…
I nearly didn’t realize it, but 2017 will be over soon. It’s amazing how fast time passes when you’re thumbing…
Hello, darlings. My favorite time of the year is just around the corner and I’m in a festive mood. I’ve just…
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There’s a new iPhone out soon or something? And the people, they are excited about the new device. Why? I myself…
I know it’s not even November yet, but Christmas is still right around the corner, and it is my absolute favorite…
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Here at Jalopnik, it’s no secret that we’re very “anti-brand.” We don’t get sucked into PR campaigns and we…
Above-ground abodes: so overrated.
You probably think being me is a walk in the park, don’t you? From the outside, it seems like life is just dandy:…
Unfortunately, my travels and my business usually bring me to New York City a few times a year. I really don’t care…
Welcome to a special edition of What Car Should You Buy! Yesterday, Jalopnik was fortunate enough to get an…
Hello my darlings. I have returned after a fortnight of gallivanting around the Northern Hemisphere and I have some…
Manhattan sunlight streamed in through the blinds, lighting up the small flecks of glitter still dancing in the air…