Image credit: Luca Bruno/AP Images

Here at Jalopnik, it’s no secret that we’re very “anti-brand.” We don’t get sucked into PR campaigns and we certainly don’t tolerate shameless self-plugs that company CEOs (not really in this case) might post in our comments section.

Well, all except for one CEO: the one and only Sergio Marchionne (okay, not really, but a very convincing parody account—we think?) who tried to entice poor, unknowing FancyKristen into buying Fiat Chrysler today.

Damn, “Sergio.” You cold.