We’ve all heard of Florida Man. He’s America’s worst superhero. Whether he’s getting caught with James Bond gadgets, crashing his truck into a house, beating people up with golf clubs, running over everyone during a street fight, claiming to be Satan, or whatever else even Stan Lee couldn’t dream up, Florida Man is…
If you’ve ever seen Goldfinger or basically half of the James Bond movies, you’ve probably thought about how neat the rotating license plate gadgets on the British superspy’s cars were. Too bad it doesn’t work out so great in the real world.
It’s nice to win a prize. Scratch-off lotto tickets, a free milkshake, free tickets to a show. Prizes are good. On Wednesday, Linsey Owens, 83, thought he had won a prize from a local Nissan dealer. He did not. When a Nissan employee explained why, police say, Owens beat him with a golf club.
It was just your typical 3 a.m. street fight outside of a bar in Tampa until Florida Man went and ran everybody over.
The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he drove a Camry. I always figured the Prince of Darkness would be an ‘80s Jaguar type of guy, but I guess not. Apparently, he likes Toyotas.
These guys are everything that’s wrong with motorcyclists, and they’re why people hate us.
Few things could ever force me to drive into oncoming traffic, especially on a motorcycle. But this rider did exactly that to get away from a road-raging lunatic.
Florida Man is at it again. This time, he attempted to answer the question: “Why buy food, when you can get a really ugly BMW instead?” Authorities say that he’s been charged with stealing a car after a dealership declined his offer to purchase it with food stamps.
Remember the Florida man who landed his gyrocopter on the lawn of the US Capitol last year? The retired US postal worker pulled the stunt to raise awareness about campaign finance reform. Now prosecutors are saying that he came dangerously close to hitting a Delta flight.
I know even typing the word “Florida” here will be seen as unnecessary, but in South Florida, a 59-year-old man stole a backhoe and took it on an hour-and-a-half joyride up and down a bridge, tossing boulders and scraping the road surface, sending showers of beautiful sparks into the air.
His name, naturally, is Ronny Hicks.
Any time we feature some crazily awful story out of Florida, it's typically from a newspaper or local TV news headline that contains these two words: "Florida Man." As in, "Florida man arrested again for tasering ex-wife," or "Florida man bites neighbor's thumb off." You get the idea.