Kia Boys, Meat Tailpipes, And Gun-Smuggling Drones: The Weirdest Crime Stories From The Past Year(ish)
It's been quite a ride with some of these strangest criminals.
I was reading about a Michigan man who drove drunk to the state police station in order to get a 14-year-old DUI expunged from his record, only to catch a brand new charge, and it got me thinking about the colorful crooks, skeevy schemers and unchained individuals we've featured here on Jalopnik in just the last year alone.
Now we do cover some fairly heinous criminals, but you won't find them in this slideshow! We are focusing on the funny, impressive or downright dumbest crooks and crime-committers over the past year or so.
This is by no means an extensive list, as there are just too many dumb or hilarious crime moments to cover. But when you are staring into the center of your shower head at 7 a.m., wondering if this is the day you'll finally quit your soul-sucking job and turn to a life of crime, remember these slides. Learn from them. Be a better class of criminal.
I’m Starting To Think This Putin Guy Is A Bad Egg
Putin Basically Made Man Speed Right Past A Stop Sign, Cop
A Florida police deputy caught a man blowing past a stop sign while traveling 20 miles over the posted limit but, in the driver's defense, he had a good reason: incipient nuclear war.
Meat Your Worst Nightmare
Here's What Happens If Your Exhaust Gets Filled With Lamb Chops
On Saturday, the sleepy village of Credenhill in the United Kingdom was rocked to its core by a spate of shocking attacks. Vandals in the village used poultry as projectiles and meat as missiles as they wrought havoc on homes and cars across the region. But if you car is caught up in a meat attack like this, what's the worst that could happen?
Guns Without Borders
A Drone Smuggling Guns Across the U.S.-Canada Border Got Caught In A Tree
Canadian police recovered a drone carrying a bag full of guns on Friday, April 29 near Port Lambton, Ontario. The Ontario Provincial Police retrieved the large drone after it got stuck in a tree along the banks of the St. Clair River during an apparent attempt to smuggle 11 handguns across the border from the U.S. to Canada.
The Gang Solves The Gas Crisis
Thieves Use Modified Trucks To Smuggle Hundreds Of Gallons Of Stolen Gasoline
As of today, the national average gas price is sitting at just under $5.00 per gallon. While 10 states are reporting average prices above $5.00, the highest prices are out west, mainly in states like Califonia which sits at an "I don't think I like driving anymore" average price of $6.40. Nevada is not far behind at $5.58. It's gotten so bad that local news outlets are reporting on thieves using modified trucks to steal hundreds of gallons of gasoline from gas stations, creating a black market that goes across state lines.
Never, Ever, Ever, Let Anything Go
A Man Just Torched Cars At A Dealer That Sold Him A Lemon 36 Years Ago
In 1986, a dealership sold a man a lemon of a Jeep. That transaction has come back to haunt the sellers in a big way nearly 40 years later, the Washington Post reports, when the buyer returned to the dealership to cause over $70,000 via arson in July of 2022.
Sometimes Though, Attempt To Give Up
Suspected Car Thief Surrenders And Walks Away When No Police Show Up To Arrest Him
Both the California Highway Patrol and the Los Angeles Police Department chased a suspected car thief across L.A. Thursday night, only to give up on the chase right before a confused suspect attempted to surrendered.
Kids Today
Kids Age 11, 12, And 14 Caught Trying Ro Steal Hellcats From Dodge Factory
Younger Gen Z and Gen Alpha kids have a lot of love for the Dodge Charger and Challenger. My own 11-year-old son loves them. Just the other day, he sent me a screenshot of a build he did on a Charger SRT Jailbreak. Some kids, though, seem to take that love too far. Fox 2 Detroit reports that three kids, all under 16 years old, attempted to steal multiple brand-new Hellcats straight from the Dodge factory.
Another Criminal Absconds Bigly
Marked Cop Cars Targeted By Catalytic Converter Thieves In San Francisco
Four clearly marked police cars in the San Francisco Police Department fleet were relieved of their catalytic converters this week by scrap metal thieves looking to make a quick buck.
Drive Fast And Rob Things
Alleged Bank Robber Turned To Uber For A Getaway Driver After Heist
A man in Michigan was caught pretty damn quickly last week after allegedly committing a bank robbery due to using the Uber app to call up a get away driver.
The Kids Are Little Jerks
Enterprising California Teen Arrested For Making Fake Parking Tickets
This should truly go without saying, but you should always check into what you're paying, before you pay it. Residents in Santa Cruz, California are being asked to look again at their recently paid parking tickets after a teenager is arrested in a parking ticket scam, according to NBC Bay Area.
Fast And Nefarious
Video Of That 40-Second Dodge Challenger Hellcat Theft Is Wild
The Dodge Challenger Hellcat theft from last week showed the drawbacks of selling very fast vehicles. Now we have the raw footage from the dealership which shows it was indeed an extremely quick caper.
Is Being Incredibly Weird Illegal? Possibly!
Car Found Buried 5 Feet Under Backyard Of Ritzy Home Stumps Police
Landscapers made a strange discovery while working on a yard of a multi-million dollar home in the high-end neighborhood of Atherton, California Thursday—an entire car filled with unused bags of concrete buried five feet underground.
That’s No Way To Go Through Life, Son
Naked Man Arrested After Leading Police On Wild Chase In Stolen School Bus
A Pennsylvania man had a hell of a Tuesday morning after he led police on a wild chase across three counties in a stolen school bus, then on foot while also stripping off all of his clothes. Oh and there just happened to be a dead deer in the back. Charming.
Old And Fast
Alleged Smooth Criminal Posts 133 MPH Speed Run In A 1970 Chevy Nova On Social Media
Everyone knows when you do a crime you've got to record it and uploaded it publicly to social media in order for everyone to know exactly how cool you are. It's this logic that led Connecticut State Troopers straight to the driver who hit 133 mph in his 1970 Chevrolet Nova.
When Bad Things Happen To Bad People
Racist Road Rage Driver Runs Into Wall Of Karma On Freeway
When you're the victim of a racist, expletive-filled road rage rant from some dude with a tiny mouth driving a Jeep Wrangler, you hope and pray that angry driver receives a firm comeuppance. One driver in Oakland, California, is slurping up the karma sauce after getting caught hate-crime road raging, crashing his vehicle.