Putin Basically Made Man Speed Right Past A Stop Sign, Cop

Florida police have heard it all — or so they thought

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Image for article titled Putin Basically Made Man Speed Right Past A Stop Sign, Cop
Image: Flagler County Sherrif’s Office

A Florida police deputy caught a man blowing past a stop sign while traveling 20 miles over the posted limit but, in the driver’s defense, he had a good reason: incipient nuclear war.

The traffic stop happened in Flagler County, Florida. The deputy pulled over the unnamed driver after catching him driving 50 miles per hour in a 30 mph zone on Feb. 24. He had lots of excuses for why he was in a hurry, according to WFLA, but the one he settled on was brand new for the officer. Flagler County Sheriff’s Office uploaded the exchange, caught on the officer’s body cam, to Facebook under the title: Putin made me do it.

The driver first tried to justify his speed by saying he was trying to get his car out of sport mode which... isn’t really the best defense. Kind of seems like the officer could add distracted driving to failure to stop and speeding. He then told the officer he wanted to beat a car coming up from a cross street which again, is just not the solid justification he thinks it is. Finally, he decided to level with the officer and pulled an excused directly from today’s headlines:


“The truth is, I just found out that Putin says he’s going to launch thermonuclear war against the world. I was trying to get back to my house to find out what is going on. I’m freaking out here. I got people in Ukraine.”

Putin! Are there any depths that dastardly dictator won’t plunge to? Putin did indeed threaten to use any means necessary to secure Ukraine on February 24, but I’ve got news for you, citizen: You might be able to beat that car coming up to the four-way stop, but you’re not going to outrun a nuclear bomb. Such things will happen if and when they happen, and all you can really do is spin in a circle and scream at the sky about it.