Alluring (asinine) alliteration aside, allow me to set the scene for a rare sighting. You are a Boy Scout in a suburb of the nation’s capital. As a Troop, on this fine Saturday morning, you are out delivering mulch, the lifeblood of a fundraising operation. On your fourth trailer load of the day, your back is hurtling …

Being a dead sub-brand of an also dead brand is a daunting stigma to overcome. Today's Nice Price or Crack Pipe Merkur Scorpio has risen from the grave, but will its price make it dead to you?

Have you ever noticed that the term "import car" doesn't get tossed around like it used to? In these days of Toyotas from California, Volkswagens from Tennessee and Chevrolets from Canada, it's becoming harder and harder to tell the difference between a "foreign" and a "domestic" car.

Ah, the Merkur. There aren't many better examples of how poor marketing can kill a decent car. If you're a frequent visitor to Jalopnik, you know this story. But if you're a regular human being capable of healthy relationships with other people, allow me to explain.

An eagle-eyed reader in San Diego spotted a Merkur XR4Ti, Cadillac Allante, and Subaru SVX all parked with a film crew in front of his office building. The man in plaid clearly gave them away as Top Gear USA, but what's going on here?

Welcome to Down On The Street, where we admire old vehicles found parked on the streets of the Island That Rust Forgot: Alameda, California. Yes, I'm back in California this weekend, so it's time for an Alameda flashback!

The Türbö Schnitzel XR4Ti has competed in several LeMons events here in South Carolina, with predictable results each time: KABOOM! Obviously, an XR4Ti must have a turbocharged Ford engine, but there's no law that says it can't be a V8!

William Randolph Hearst created his San Simeon castle by importing the best of Europe's ancient architecture and having Julia Morgan find ways to incorporate it. Today, Nice Price or Crack Pipe has a Ford Sierra that would make Hearst proud.

Historically X marks the spot, however Ford seemed to miss the target with their mid-eighties imports. Today, Nice Price or Crack Pipe wants to know if time has improved the perception of their aim.

Bad timing, bad marketing and bad pricing have all killed a number of great cars. With a little help we've identified these ten great cars that sold like complete crap.