Nice Price Or Crack PipeIs this used car a good deal? You decide!

Being a dead sub-brand of an also dead brand is a daunting stigma to overcome. Today's Nice Price or Crack Pipe Merkur Scorpio has risen from the grave, but will its price make it dead to you?

In inspirational movies there's always a scene were the outcast is given a pep talk by the aspirational protagonist in which they are told to embrace their unique qualities, no matter how socially abhorrent those might be.


Well, this ain't a movie, and there's damn few perky cheerleaders or reformed gang members among us to build up the confidence of yesterday's 1971 Datsun 510 custom convertible. In fact, after seeing both its freaky top and 90% Crack Pipe loss, the general consensus was good luck with all that.

We have much more to discuss regarding today's '89 Merkur Scorpio which, unlike 99% of all Scorpios left in America, actually looks like somebody gave a damn about it.


Much like every ad, the Craigslist listing for this Scorpio-rising notes how sad the seller feels in giving up the car. In the case of this one, that lament is apparently due to the hours of Blood Sweat and Tears played on the oldies station while this car was given its RS makeover.

Sporting European narrow eye headlamps and what's claimed to be one of only two RS ground effects kits applied to an American Scorpio, the car looks pretty badass. In fact the ad notes that the "staggered" 18" wheels make the car look insane, which after an election year and Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, doesn't necessarily mean it's going to stand out.


There's no mention of mechanical updates, which likely means the car is still sporting the 144-horse 2.9 from Cologne. That's said to have valve cover gasket leaks which the seller claims is typical of the marque. What the ad doesn't touch upon is the type of gearbox backing up that six, but as most of these cars arrived here with Ford's A4LD 4-speed, I'll bet dollars to dynamite that's what this car has.


The ad is also light on interior shots, providing but a single one of the party room in the back, but that does show that it sports biscuit insides. The ad claims this to be only Scorpio to have that AND black paint on the outside - Corvette black to boot. Of course, saying that a resprayed car is notable for its color combination is like suggesting the uniqueness of a dog by the sweater it is wearing.

On the whole, Americans hate big hatchbacks - always have, always will - but that doesn't mean there isn't a small contingent for whom these pseudo wagons don't hold appeal. That's a market of which Saab, Sterling, and Merkur all attempted to tap dat ass, offering large luxurious 5-doors with leany-forward backs. Based on the success of those three marques, can you guess how large a market that was?


Regardless of their general failures, there is at least one proponent of such body styles, and that's the guy or gal who has kept this Scorpio not just out of the junk yards, but on the road and looking pretty sweet. And that particular hatch advocate is hoping that there exists another - not only someone who loves a full figured car that takes in the rear, but also one who'd be willing to part with six grand for the experience.

What do you think, is this RS-ted development Scorpio worth $6,000 to keep the large hatch flame alive? Or, is this a Merkur with a price about which you couldn't care?


You decide!


Central New Jersey Craigslist, ya mook! Or, go here if the ad disappears.

H/T to Exit11 for the hookup!

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