Attention! Attention! This is important! Three insipid thoughts about automobiles have occurred to me, and now, pursuant to OSHA regs 31.46a and subparagraph 77e, I must relay them to you. So get ready.
Let’s say you find yourself at a local Cars & Coffee meetup, parked between a perfect vintage Lamborghini Miura and a Koenigsegg something something. You look down to find that you’ve, somehow, driven up in the most mundane, boring shitbox imaginable. There’s still hours left before the Mustangs start killing everybody
Writing about a fantasy world that includes exactly zero cars on an automotive site may be a little ridiculous, but for some reason I keep doing it. And with Game of Thrones coming back this Sunday, why should I stop? So let’s try this: if the important Great Houses in the upcoming season were translated into cars,…
Quick: what’s the one thing that, to most people, defines a supercar? Power? Speed? Advanced engineering? Money? Wrong, wrong, wrong, and sort of right. But trumping all these criteria, to the average person, there’s but one real indicator of supercardom: weird doors.
I’m very fond of the Subaru 360. It’s the perfect car for people who see a VW Beetle and think, “I love it, but can I get something smaller, slower, less safe, and with much less luggage room?” It’s a little charming kook of a car, and the kookiest kook is the Young SS sporty version.
Because I’m a man with deep, disturbing problems, I was doing some research into taillights for an upcoming story when I found this patent. As a taillight fetishist, (if we were like Furries, we’d be called Taillies, but I don’t want to fuck a taillight) I was interested. I don’t think I was ready for the gloriously…
So, I had a weird idea. And, like with pretty much every weird idea I have that’s not too obscene and sort of automotive-related, I’m sharing it with you: what if I drew four-stroke car engines using only four strokes? Well, we needn’t wonder any more, because I tried it.
Wh-wh-what am I looking at? That’s what you’re probably stammering right now, soaked in sweat, and, if so equipped, possible sporting the most disturbing confusion-boner you’ve ever had. A little car. Looks like a GM T-car platform. With a... a... G...M...C... badge? What the fuck is happening to me?
When it comes to sucking fuel and air into an engine, there’s nothing I love more than a good intake manifold. But that doesn’t mean they’re not occasionally terrifying. Which is what leads me to wonder: is there a scarier-looking intake manifold than the one on the Nissan/Infiniti 4.5-liter V8 engine?
I was researching something else when I fell down this particular rabbit hole, but I’m pretty intrigued by what I found here: it’s from a 1953 Beetle luggage accessories flyer, but what I’m most curious about is that wireframe luggage tester thing there. Did that exist outside of a drawing?
A good while ago, I made a little quiz of car-based haikus, and I happened to find the old file when I accidentally knocked my hard drive over and spilled hot data all over my desk. The haikus were still pretty fun, so, what the hell, let’s do it again.
I’m fascinated by the early development of automobiles and I have all kinds of ideas and opinions on the subject. I also have one nagging question: why did things turn out the way they did? Specifically, I’m not sure why or how cars managed to replace the old horse/buggy model so completely. I better explain.
As many of us already know, or are about to find out, winter driving can really suck. Icy and snowy conditions are simply hard on both people and cars, and very few cars are really designed to handle it well. But what if a car was designed just to deal well with terrible winter weather? I took a stab at it.
Look, Lexus. I know you think you’re getting away with something here, but I just want to let you know I know what you’re doing. You thought all us autojournos would be fooled — but you didn’t count on one with a mostly unused Art History degree and several semesters of Egyptology. I got your number, and I’m gonna…
I think I’ve made my position on those expensive gleaming suppositories of automotive excess we generally call ‘supercars’ quite clear: they’re stupid. But that doesn’t mean I think they always have to be stupid. In fact, I think their path out of the caves of stupidity is, ironically, with an injection of more pure,…
Mitsuoka is the world’s premier maker of Nissan-based, sub-scale vintage Jaguar-ish cars. FCA (you know, Fiat-Chrysler) is a huge carmaker that’s going through a bit of a rough patch, including a failed attempt to convince GM that a merger would be a blast. Is an FCA/Mitsuoka partnership just what everyone needs?
Despite what my dentist keeps telling me, I’m human. Aside from having a bunch of hair and fingers, that means that I do, sometimes, make mistakes. And I’ve made plenty this year. So I want to make things right. Here’s my corrections for the ten biggest mistakes I’ve made this year:
It looks like Volkswagen is preparing to introduce yet another modernized Microbus prototype at CES next month, so I’ve been thinking about old Type IIs. For a car as iconic and well-known as the Microbus, there’s a sense that it’s all explored, there’s nothing new to learn. And then you see a picture of an Auwärter…
Everyone knows Pep Boys, right? Three guys that look sort of like Groucho Marx, Josef Stalin, and Bob Newhart? Sure you do. They’re Manny, Moe, and Jack, and they just want to sell you stick-on vents and make you happy, right? Oh, you sweet, sweet fool — I wish it was that simple.