Mother Russia brings us another gem this week with a new dash cam video showing a flat-bed tow truck dropping a car on the street and just continuing on its merry way. Never change, Russia.
You know how, sometimes, when you’re in a panic, you end up doing exactly the thing you’re not supposed to do? I suspect this Russian student driver knows what I’m talking about, right? Da?
Here’s why you have to keep your wits on poorly-marked roads this winter.
Also, maybe, “not drinking.” But at the end of the day, after watching this video, my only true response is simply what is this I don’t even what the how what.
Alright, so it’s not what you were expecting. But I bet that guy never saw it either.
I’m not really going to go beyond that, for now. Just watch. Let the crappy techno lull you into a false sense of security, until the point where you forget that this video comes from (of course) Russia. And then... just watch.
In 2012, dash cams introduced themselves to the world. In 2013, dash cams started breaking worldwide news. In 2014? Things got weird.
The real crux of this video starts at about 40 seconds in, and it's honestly not the craziest Russian Dash Cam video in the world. But I just like how the accordion going into overdrive is the thing that appears to make him swerve violently off the road.
The Terminator T-1000 is real and he's working as a cop somewhere in the post-Soviet East, at least if this dashcam video is to be believed.
If I found a body lying in the road, I would probably panic, check for vital signs, and then dial 911, in that order. But I don't live in Russia.
Another day, another massive fireball blazing over distant Russia and recorded on somebody's dash cam.
If you were driving along at saw what looked to be, at the very least, a small atomic explosion in the night sky, you might pull over. At the very least, to process what just happened. Not in Russia, where the second meteor in a year appears to have exploded over western Siberia.
Russia: Where everything on the road is trying to destroy you.
This hapless Russian pedestrian was caught in the middle of an accident. No, not figuratively. He was literally in the middle of an accident, yet didn't suffer a scratch. He looks around startled, brushes himself off, and then calmly walks away. Because that's just how Russia is sometimes.
In all of my years of driving, I never thought "close your eyes and just go for it" was an acceptable method of changing lanes. This Toyota Camry driver proves that, starting a domino effect of destruction.
Russia can be a cold place, figuratively (well also literally but NOT THE POINT here). So when a dude randomly saves your life, he's going to do it by throwing you off your bike.
In the Post-Soviet East, you never want to bring a gun to a fistfight.
Every so often you're flipping through channels and your remote lands on Spike or TBS or whatever and there's one of those cop chase shows and they show some video from 1994 where a Toyota Tercel narrowly avoids some spike strips and you think, "oh, that's nice." This is not that video.
I'm not one to normally encourage vigilante justice, but never has it felt so joyful, so wonderful, so clean. This is the motorcycle-riding superhero of our dreams.
Think about all the ingredients you need for a gold standard of Russian Dash Cam videos. A guy taking a piss? Check. Sunglasses? Check. The most stereotypical music imaginable? Check. A ridiculous and totally avoidable and unnecessary crash? Big check. This video has it all.