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The Ten Most Ostentatious Car Upgrades Of All Time

Illustration for article titled The Ten Most Ostentatious Car Upgrades Of All Time

If you thought your neighbor's stanced Subaru was obnoxious, prepare to have your mind blown.

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10.) Diamond Wheels

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You know what's ostentatious? Putting giant wheels on your car. You know what's more ostentatious than that? Putting giant wheels that have diamonds in them on your car. Send your letters of appreciation to Asanti for this one, or fork over $1 million to buy a set.

Suggested By: maximum_sarge, Photo Credit: Asanti


9.) Straight Pipes

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If you want to make the entire world despise you and your car, all you need to do is give yourself some buzzing, loud straight pipes. Works every time.

Suggested By: ejp, Photo Credit: Our friends at Turner Motorsport


8.) Lift Kits On Clean Trucks

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Lift kits on proper prerunners and offroad trucks are great. Lift kits on Silverados that never see a fleck of dirt in their lives are not.

Suggested By: Maxximtl, Photo Credit: Raphael Orlove


7.) TVs In The Trunk

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This might not seem that ostentatious at first, so I'll let BigHarv explain.

Don't get me wrong, I don't thing it's necessarily a wrong thing to do, but by filling your trunk with a TV and speakers, you are saying "I will destroy the utility of my vehicle in order to impressive people with my car while it is sitting still in a parking lot", and it doesn't really get more ostentatious than that. You have turned your car into something best appreciated while not moving-touche.

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Suggested By: BigHarv, Photo Credit: Scion via jonsibal


6.) Wings

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Any kind of humongous wing on a little car is obnoxious, but no Honda Civic can touch the Smart ForJeremy, which has, like, actual wings.

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Suggested By: Enginerrrrrrrrrr, Photo Credit: "Smart"


5.) Chrome Wraps

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Bieber got one. Case closed.

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Suggested By: ATX211, Photo Credit: TMZ


4.) Bedazzling An Entire Car

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Nobody does over-the-top quite like the Japanese, who had a brief fad for bedazzling entire cars in Swarovsky crystals a few years back.

Suggested By: GC8, Photo Credit: D.A.D.


3.) Turning Your Car Into A Swan

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Modifying a car to look like a swan is so ostentatious that it's actually kind of amazing. This particular 'Swan car' was built by an eccentric British imperialist in India back in 1909-1910. It exhales steam out of the front and it craps whitewash out the back. Seriously.

Suggested By: sm70, Photo Credit: Alden Jewell


2.) Whale Penis Leather

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Estonian armored car builder Dartz offered this option briefly, before Pamela Anderson campaigned to have it taken out of production. Then Dartz made a commemorative "Penisguard" car in honor of Pam's efforts. You can't make this stuff up.

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Suggested By: Bullitt417, Photo Credit: Dartz


1.) Encrusting Your Car In Rubies

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Basically, this entire car is about as ostentatious as a motor vehicle can be. It's called the "Red Gold Dream" and was built with a budget of around $4.3 million. There are 500 rubies studding the car. There's gold leather in the interior. There's what appears to be actual gold plate in the interior, headlights, and wheels. There's also a bodykit, which is a big no-no on a supercar.

It's all the work of one absolutely bonkers Swiss man, Ueli Anlicker. Read more about him right here.

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Suggested By: JimSlade, Photo Credit: Ueli Anlicker

Welcome back to Answers of the Day - our daily Jalopnik feature where we take the best ten responses from the previous day's Question of the Day and shine it up to show off. It's by you and for you, the Jalopnik readers. Enjoy!

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Photo Credit: D.A.D.

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DISCUSSION

8) Lift Kits On Clean Trucks

This is a hard one to challenge, but I am going to try. Economy is tough and most people only have one car. When its a caged Miata drving around town in winter we all praise the driver, but for some reason a clean lifted pickup at the mall is worse?

I know very few people actually offroad/mud their lifted truck, but I feel they need a little more benefit of the doubt than they are given.