Welcome to Paper Jam, the feature where we highlight the best automotive advertisements from the past! Print might be nearly dead, but our scanners are just getting warmed up.

Cops, old people, and anybody who rides in a taxi should know Ford is recalling 38,645 Crown Victorias, Mercury Grand Marquis', and Lincoln Town Cars because the last time they recalled those cars, they may or may not have done something "that could potentially result in a loss of steering."

We love police cruisers. They're big, fast, parts are plentiful, and they're usually pretty cheap used. But even though they're cool, using one to pretend you're a cop isn't.

Creative, bored, love cars and living in Rhode Island? Why not weld metal armor onto a Crown Vic cop car, then shoot a movie about post-apocalypse police forces trying to stem a tide of crazies? That's exactly what Jalopnik reader Josh Oakhurst did. Meet Chimera.

In 1967, the first Ford Falcon came off the line at Ford's St. Thomas Assembly in Talbotville, Ontario. Here is video from two weeks ago of the plant's final days — as it builds the very last of Ford's venerable Crown Victoria sedans.

Today, the Ford Crown Victoria, a slope-nosed metal box with an unquenchable thirst for gas built with manufacturing methods Henry Ford would have recognized, died after 32 years of production. Here's why its passing marks the sad end of a great American era.

After 32 years in production, the last Ford Crown Victoria will roll off the assembly line today. It's a record that surpasses all other North American vehicles, including the Model T. Its final destination, however, isn't a museum in Detroit or a American collector. It's being sent to Saudi Arabia.

With the demise of the Ford Crown Victoria in a few short months, police departments around the nation are scrambling to find a replacement. Or, like the city of Austin, Texas, they're buying enough now to last five years.

Ford's Panther platform will finally ride into the sunset this August after 32 years in production, but one Crown Victoria owner decided it was just old enough to take it off-roading at Hell's Revenge in Moab, Utah. Jeep who?

Canadian Bank ATB's marketing cheap mortgages to passers-by with cars — like this Mercury Grand Marquis — piled high Jed Clampett-style with household detritus. Pack up the Tin Lizzie, ma!

The 2012 Ford Police Interceptor unveiled today is the latest in a long line of Ford squad cars. Here's why the sight of even a civilian Crown Vic now induces Pavlovian application of brakes in all motorists.

An anonymous tipster snapped this Virginia Beach police cruiser blocking both handicapped spaces at an IHOP while the officer chatted up the staff for over an hour. He didn't even eat. This is why people think some cops are asshats.

Based on anecdotal evidence, we assumed that the P71 Crown Vic would be one of the top five most reliable LeMons cars, because that 4.6 Modular engine never breaks, but in fact it came in 13th place out of 38.

A couple weeks ago, when I debuted the Ghost Ride The Whip Box at the '09 Arse Freeze-a-Palooza LeMons, I decided I needed to roll my Crown Vic's balky driver's window down all the way… and heard a terrible CLUNK!