The Top 76 Lemons of the North Dallas Hooptie 24 Hours of LeMons

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How about four Taurus SHOs in the top ten, along with the amazing Mid-Drive Crisis Mirage? Only in Texas, race fans!


Temperatures got into the triple digits and that Texas heat done barbecued vast quantities of brake pads, connecting rods, and head gaskets. How is it that so many of the super-fragile SHOs held together so well? Perhaps it's just natural selection at work: now that most of the Yamaha V6 engines in Texas got blowed up by LeMons teams during the last couple of years, only the engines with no weak points are left!

Disclosure: Murilee Martin gets paid crazy baksheesh for his work on the LeMons Supreme Court.
Photographs by Nick Pon.

Not enough LeMons action for you? Check out the top lemons of past races: Altamont '07Arse Freeze '07Altamont '08Ohio '08New England '08South '08Texas '08Arse Freeze '08Texas Spring '09South Spring '09Reno '09New Orleans '09New England '09Buttonwillow '09South Fall '09Ohio '09Texas Fall '09Arse Freeze '09Phoenix '10South Winter '10Texas Winter '10Sears Point '10Detroit '10New Orleans '10Goin' For Broken '10South Spring '10

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1. Red Rocket Ratnest Revival, Ford Taurus SHO
Overall Winner

2. Race Hard Race Ugly #94, BMW 325iS
Winner, Class Good

3. LRE, Datsun 240Z
Winner, Class Bad
Winner, Highest Placing 70s Contender award

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4. Larnbacher Foles Racing, Acura Integra

5. WARTHOG RACING, BMW 325e

6. Live Oak Nudist Resort Inc, Ford Taurus SHO

7. Mid-Drive Crisis, Mitsubishi Mirage
Winner, Class Ugly

8. Team Operation, BMW 318i

9. Warhunks, Ford Taurus SHO

10. Team Zip Tie, Ford Taurus SHO

11. Live Oak Nudist Resort II, BMW 320i

12. INGLORIOUS BASTERDS RACING— LRE

13. Lost In The Dark, Mazda Miata

14. CajunCoonasses dba Speed Racer, Saturn SC2

15. Summer's Eve Racing, BMW 325i

16. They Ain't Right (You Ain't Wrong), Toyota MR2

17. FUBAR Racing, Ford Escort ZX2

18. Unpimp Ze Lemon, Volkswagen Scirocco

19. Animal Hospice, Mazda RX-7

20. Wing-Nuts, Nissan 200SX

21. Zebra Racing, Toyota Pickup

22. Property Devaluation Racing II, Ford Thunderbird,

23. Team Festivus, Ford Festiva

24. Shake And Bake, Ford Mustang

25. Serious Business Motorsports, BMW 325e

26. Team Skidmark, Toyota Celica

27. Alfa Dogs, Alfa Romeo Milano
Winner, Grassroots Motorsports Most From The Least award

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28. Reel 'Em In Racing, Toyota Celica

29. Formula M— As In Mullet, Ford Mustang

30. Team Sour Puss, Acura Integra

31. Limp Richard Racing, Mazda Protege

32. Normal Y Ass Parade D, Toyota Paseo

33. French Revolution, Toyota Camry

34. Team JB-Weld, Pontiac Grand Prix

35. MetroSexual, Geo Metro

36. Loose Screw Racing, Toyota MR2

37. Violent Running Gang, Honda Civic

38. El Toro Loco, Ford Taurus SHO

39. Cupcake Racing, Ford Thunderbird

40. Gashole Motorsports, Honda Accord

41. Team Sensory Assault, Mazda RX-7
Winner, Heroic Fix award

42. Theissen's Revenge, BMW 325e

43. www.team8racing.com, Porsche 924

44. NUTS & BOLTS RACING, Nissan 300ZX

45. Abigisch Messen Gemachen Schweinrennengruppe, Mercedes-Benz 280
Winner, Long-Ass Weekend award

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46. Pollock Redux, Toyota Celica

47. Dirty Some Beaches, Honda Civic Wagovan

48. Lost In The Dark II, Ford Probe

49. Inspite Racing, Honda Prelude

50. Scuderia Toro Roto, Mazda RX-7

51. Team Inspired Vintage, Ford Taurus SHO

52. Hoosier Daddy, Mitsubishi Galant

53. Petty Cash Motorsports, Pontiac Grand Prix

54. Team Flying Wrench, Nissan 300ZX

55. Prancing Donkeys, Acura Integra

56. Team Miagra, Mazda Miata

57. The Pretenders/Ferari Racing, Datsun 240Z

58. Team Blue Goose 2, Volkswagen Rabbit
Winner, Organizer's Choice award

59. Team Mullet, Toyota Supra

60. Toxic Asset Racing Program Clown Car, Toyota MR2

61. King Fu and the Fu King Racers, Toyota Paseo

62. Bastardos de LeMons, Lincoln Mark VIII
Winner, I Got Screwed award

63. S.N.U.T., Volvo 244

64. Crewe Le Pew Redeaux, Renault Le Car
Winner, Index of Effluency

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65. Nigerian Prince Racing, Honda Prelude

66. Valhalla Wagon Rednex Inc, Volkswagen Golf

67. Reel 'Em In Racing II, Toyota MR2

68. Property Devaluation Racing, Ford Fairmont Wagon

69. The Pirates of Plano, Nissan Altima

70. Blue Oval Cult Racing, Ford SHO-Stang
Winner, Least Most Horrible Yank Tank award

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71. Boehm Racing, SAAB 900S

72. RSC Racing, Eagle Talon

73. Team Clunker, Nissan 300ZX

74. Last Chance Racing, Ford Probe

75. The A Team, Mazda Miata

76. Nazi Unterseeboote Semen a.k.a. The Semen N.U., Dodge Stealth