The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMons

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For the first time ever, Detroit iron dominated a 24 Hours Of LeMons event, with American-built machinery taking four of the top five positions (if you consider a California-built Corolla to be American-built, that is).

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We saw plenty of the usual LeMons suspects at MSR in Houston last weekend, with 10 Mustangs, 6 RX-7s, 6 E30s, 4 CRXs, 4 Neons, and 4 Miatas showing up, but we also had our first-ever Infiniti Q45, a pair of Toyota pickups, an Opel GT, and an MGB-GT (which managed to get around the track startlingly quickly, in between lengthy jail sentences in the Penalty Box). In addition to Mustangs coming in first and second, we saw some other world-turned-topsy-turvy events. How about a LeMons race in which four Saabs enter… and all four are still running at the end? Sure, all the Saabs earned the new-for-Houston punishment for hitting tire walls and/or cones (old tires bolted to the car's roof), but they didn't throw rods or send major suspension components skittering off into the weeds in the first 30 minutes of the race! A four-banger Mustang finished second, a Saturn came in third, an 80s Dodge Daytona managed to contend, and the majority of BMW E30s raced for two solid days without exhibiting the usual maddeningly undiagnosable electrical woes (blown head gaskets and axle failures, certainly, but we didn't see the all-too-common cruel drama of E30 crew members weeping over multimeters and wiring diagrams).

This time I'm going to include each team's best lap time, so y'all can see for yourselves how "fast" does not equal "win" in the 24 Hours Of LeMons. Those of you contemplating horsepower-enhancing cheats would do well to note that the four-cylinder Mustangs performed just as well as their V8 siblings, and you Miata and E30 guys can go ahead and keep thumping your chests about those absurdly quick lap times… but remember, your favorite cars got stomped by a Saturn! Those of you wanting obsessively complete lap info can go here; keep in mind that a few cars may be showing too-low best lap times due to having taken what the corner workers dubbed the "Neon Bypass" (in honor of the oft-penalized Blueballs Neons) off-road shortcut around the chicanes.

Before you go check out our 95 Texas racin' machines, I've got a video that true 24 Hours Of LeMons fans ought to find quite entertaining. First, we've got one of the hairiest Integra-jumps-BMW-wheel bits ever caught on film, courtesy of the Unintended Acceleration Audi's in-car camera:


Zerin Dube, editor of Speed:Sport:Life volunteered for judging duties at the race, and he also did a good job covering the goings-on at his site. You'll enjoy the Penalty Box Punishments and the rest of the SSL race coverage.

Thanks to Zerin Dube, TheEastBayKid, Myke Toman, and a whole bunch of race team members for many of the photographs below.
When you're done here, be sure to check out the participants of previous LeMons events, including Arse Freeze '08, Texas '08, Toledo '08, New England '08, South '08, San Francisco '08, Arse Freeze '07, and San Francisco '07. I'll put up some more LeMons stuff when I get back to my normal weekend schedule, too. And now, the racers of the 2009 Gator-O-Rama:

The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMons

1. Formula M For Mullet, Ford Mustang
Best lap: 1:18.320


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2. Shake & Bake 4 Cyl Mustang, Ford Mustang
Best lap: 1:19.426


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3. The Cajun Coonasses, Saturn SL2
Best lap: 1:19.061


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4. The SCHWING Team, Toyota Corolla FX16
Best lap: 1.19.274


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5. 1.21 Jigawatts, Mazda RX-7
Best lap: 1:20.402


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6. Polizei Und Banditen, BMW 325e
Best lap: 1:16.843


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7. MusTank Racing Inc, Ford Mustang
Best lap: 1:17.081


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8. Detroit Bailout, Toyota Supra
Best lap: 1:24.508


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9. Z-Wrecks, Datsun 280ZX
Best lap: 1:17.597


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10. Low Budget Racing, Datsun 280ZX
Best lap: 1:21.403


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11. A-Team, Dodge Daytona
Best lap: 1:27.085


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12. Rear Impact, Mazda Miata
Best lap: 1:19.115


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13. Brawndo, The Thirst Mutilator, Nissan 200SX
Best lap: 1:23.493


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14. Bio-Hazard Racing, Ford Ranger
Best lap: 1:21.335


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15. Lemoncello Racing, Honda Civic
Best lap: 1:22.127


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16. Race Hard Race Uglier, BMW 325i
Best lap: 1:19.467


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17. Longhorn Raceworks, Toyota Celica
Best lap: 1:16.870


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18. The Smoking Eunuchs, Ford Mustang
Best lap: 1:22.838


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19. Never Give Up, BMW 1600
Best lap: 1:17.600


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20. Stop, Drop, And Rickroll, BMW 325e
Best lap: 1:19.962


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21. State Pooper, Ford Mustang
Best lap: 1:20.778


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22. Half-Assed Safety Fast, Infiniti Q45
Best lap: 1:20.353


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23. Medically Challenged, Mitsubishi 3000GT
Best lap: 1:22.250


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24. Rum Runners, Chevrolet Malibu
Best lap: 1:26.272


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25. TnT Racing, Volkswagen Golf
Best lap: 1:19.193


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26. "Z" Team, Toyota Celica
Best lap: 1:18.956


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27. Tetanus Neon, Dodge Neon
Best lap: 1:21.070


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28. TSOL, Saab 9000 Turbo
Best lap: 1:21.428


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29. Blueballs Racing (Righty), Dodge Neon
Best lap: 1:19.670


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30. Warthog Racing, BMW 325e
Best lap: 1:20.383


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31. White Lightning Racing, Toyota Celica
Best lap: 1:19.971


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32. Apex Vinyl TX Racing, Toyota Truck
Best lap: 1:27.377


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33. Smilin' Bob Racing, Honda Accord


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34. Unintended Acceleration, Audi 90 Quattro
Best lap: 1:16.274


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35. Pwnage Racing, Mazda RX-7
Best lap: 1:20.690


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36. Sheila And The Sheikhs, Ford Mustang
Best lap: 1:17.657


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37. Saabs Gone Wild, Saab 900
Best lap: 1:17.737


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38. Doggie Style Racing, Toyota MR2
Best lap: 1:19.290


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39. Scuderia Suino Rosso, Mazda Miata
Best lap: 1:14.182


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40. Delinquent Road Hazards, Acura Integra
Best lap: 1:14.490


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41. Boehm Racing, Saab 900
Best lap: 1:24.799


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42. El Toro Loco, Ford Taurus SHO
Best lap: 1:19.013


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43. Cupcake Racing, Ford Thunderbird
Best lap: 1:26.580


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44. Team Zip Tie, Ford Taurus SHO
Best lap: 1:17.388


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45. Evel Kweasels, Toyota Corolla
Best lap: 1:19.033


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46. Norwegian Slaabs Part Två, Saab 900
Best lap: 1:25.900


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47. Rebel Z, Datsun 280ZX
Best lap: 1:20.019


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48. Team Supraleggara, Toyota Supra
Best lap: 1:21.582


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49. Gold Member, Toyota MR2
Best lap: 1:17.750


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50. Griswold Racing, Ford Pinto Wagon
Best lap: 1:30.032


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51. Witchdoctor/Bikini Racer, Chevrolet Camaro
Best lap: 1:19.661


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52. Junk Punch Racing, Ford Mustang
Best lap: 1:27.506


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53. Out Of Town Racing, BMW 325eS
Best lap: 1:19.314


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54. Charlie's Ugly Angels, Ford Mustang II
Best lap: 1:20.219


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55. Punisher Racing, Chevrolet Caprice
Best lap: 1:17.766


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56. Team Screwdriver, Pontiac Bonnelinabird
Best lap: 1:22.215


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57. Flying Asses, Mazda Miata
Best lap: 1:19.828


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58. Blueballs Racing (Lefty), Plymouth Neon
Best lap: 1:21.100


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59. Four Jerks And A Squirt, Chevrolet/Pontiac Camfireobird
Best lap: 1:22.090


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60. Guild Of Calamitous Intent, Mazda RX-7
Best lap: 1:20.715


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61. Rotorheads, Mazda RX-7
Best lap: 1:16.657


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62. Los Diablos Racing Team, Chevrolet Camaro
Best lap: 1:23.438


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63. 2nd Gear Racing, Pontiac Grand Prix
Best lap: 1:21:323


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64. Guano By Desmodus Rufus, Mazda RX-7 GSL-SE
Best lap: 1:22.457


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65. Stiff Competition, Mazda RX-7
Best lap: 1:18.325


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66. Frogmasters, MGB-GT
Best lap: 1:21.343


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67. Los Cucaroches, Ford Mustang
Best lap: 1:20.409


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68. Red Pig Racing, Mazda Miata
Best lap: 1:15.036


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69. Team Fat Cat Racing, Jaguar XJ6
Best lap: 1:24.378


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70. Enzo Dysfunction, BMW 318i
Best lap: 1:18.095


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71. Dukes Of Hiroshima, Nissan Sentra SE-R
Best lap: 1:20.245


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72. Fairlady Action Rspn Team, Datsun 240Z
Best lap: 1:18.313


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73. Flying Hoondee, Merkur XR4Ti
Best lap: 1:21.392


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74. FUBAR Racing, Ford Escort
Best lap: 1:29.523


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75. Toxic Asset Racing Program, Toyota MR2
Best lap: 1:21.035


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76. Dyin Tryin, Honda CRX
Best lap: 1:23.467


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77. Opular Dependence Team Israel, Opel GT
Best lap: 1:21.448


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78. Team Mazdarati Corse GTA, Mazda Protegé
Best lap: 1:22.456


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79. Lost In The Dark, Mazda MX-6
Best lap: 1:26.399


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80. eLemonators, Toyota Celica
Best lap: 1:24.492


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81. Team Lemonade, Toyota Celica
Best lap: 1:23.608


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82. Geargrinders, Chevrolet Monte Carlo
Best lap: 1:28.954


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83. Margarita, Dodge Neon
Best lap: 1:20.456


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84. Prison Break Racing, BMW 325
Best lap: 1:32.825


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85. Team Blue Goose, Honda CRX
Best lap: 1:23.052


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86. Bangers And Mash, Honda Prelude
Best lap: 1:34.356


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87. Race Hard Race Ugly Soot, BMW 325i
Best lap: 1:20.153


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88. Team Sour Puss, Acura Integra
Best lap: 1:23.363


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89. Project Yellow Racing, Honda CRX
Best lap: 1:27.579


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90. Zebra Razing, Toyota Truck
Best lap: 1:28.549


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91. Alfa Dogs, Alfa Romeo Milano
Best lap: 1:24.638


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92. Team Kachow, Eagle Talon
Best lap: 1:28.617


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93. Beermer, BMW 2002
Best lap: 1:39.809


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94. Def Leppard Still Sucks, Ford Mustang


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95. Viva Las Vegas, Honda CRX
Best lap: 1:22.139


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Illustration for article titled The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMons
Illustration for article titled The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMons
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Illustration for article titled The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMons
Illustration for article titled The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMons
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Illustration for article titled The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMons
Illustration for article titled The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMons
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Illustration for article titled The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMons
Illustration for article titled The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMons
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Illustration for article titled The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMons
Illustration for article titled The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMons

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Boosted Lego Wagon

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