The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMons
For the first time ever, Detroit iron dominated a 24 Hours Of LeMons event, with American-built machinery taking four of the top five positions (if you consider a California-built Corolla to be American-built, that is).
We saw plenty of the usual LeMons suspects at MSR in Houston last weekend, with 10 Mustangs, 6 RX-7s, 6 E30s, 4 CRXs, 4 Neons, and 4 Miatas showing up, but we also had our first-ever Infiniti Q45, a pair of Toyota pickups, an Opel GT, and an MGB-GT (which managed to get around the track startlingly quickly, in between lengthy jail sentences in the Penalty Box). In addition to Mustangs coming in first and second, we saw some other world-turned-topsy-turvy events. How about a LeMons race in which four Saabs enter... and all four are still running at the end? Sure, all the Saabs earned the new-for-Houston punishment for hitting tire walls and/or cones (old tires bolted to the car's roof), but they didn't throw rods or send major suspension components skittering off into the weeds in the first 30 minutes of the race! A four-banger Mustang finished second, a Saturn came in third, an 80s Dodge Daytona managed to contend, and the majority of BMW E30s raced for two solid days without exhibiting the usual maddeningly undiagnosable electrical woes (blown head gaskets and axle failures, certainly, but we didn't see the all-too-common cruel drama of E30 crew members weeping over multimeters and wiring diagrams).
This time I'm going to include each team's best lap time, so y'all can see for yourselves how "fast" does not equal "win" in the 24 Hours Of LeMons. Those of you contemplating horsepower-enhancing cheats would do well to note that the four-cylinder Mustangs performed just as well as their V8 siblings, and you Miata and E30 guys can go ahead and keep thumping your chests about those absurdly quick lap times... but remember, your favorite cars got stomped by a Saturn! Those of you wanting obsessively complete lap info can go here; keep in mind that a few cars may be showing too-low best lap times due to having taken what the corner workers dubbed the "Neon Bypass" (in honor of the oft-penalized Blueballs Neons) off-road shortcut around the chicanes.
Before you go check out our 95 Texas racin' machines, I've got a video that true 24 Hours Of LeMons fans ought to find quite entertaining. First, we've got one of the hairiest Integra-jumps-BMW-wheel bits ever caught on film, courtesy of the Unintended Acceleration Audi's in-car camera:
Zerin Dube, editor of Speed:Sport:Life volunteered for judging duties at the race, and he also did a good job covering the goings-on at his site. You'll enjoy the Penalty Box Punishments and the rest of the SSL race coverage.
Thanks to Zerin Dube, TheEastBayKid, Myke Toman, and a whole bunch of race team members for many of the photographs below.
When you're done here, be sure to check out the participants of previous LeMons events, including Arse Freeze '08, Texas '08, Toledo '08, New England '08, South '08, San Francisco '08, Arse Freeze '07, and San Francisco '07. I'll put up some more LeMons stuff when I get back to my normal weekend schedule, too. And now, the racers of the 2009 Gator-O-Rama:
1. Formula M For Mullet, Ford Mustang
Best lap: 1:18.320
2. Shake & Bake 4 Cyl Mustang, Ford Mustang
Best lap: 1:19.426
3. The Cajun Coonasses, Saturn SL2
Best lap: 1:19.061
4. The SCHWING Team, Toyota Corolla FX16
Best lap: 1.19.274
5. 1.21 Jigawatts, Mazda RX-7
Best lap: 1:20.402
6. Polizei Und Banditen, BMW 325e
Best lap: 1:16.843
7. MusTank Racing Inc, Ford Mustang
Best lap: 1:17.081
8. Detroit Bailout, Toyota Supra
Best lap: 1:24.508
9. Z-Wrecks, Datsun 280ZX
Best lap: 1:17.597
10. Low Budget Racing, Datsun 280ZX
Best lap: 1:21.403
11. A-Team, Dodge Daytona
Best lap: 1:27.085
12. Rear Impact, Mazda Miata
Best lap: 1:19.115
13. Brawndo, The Thirst Mutilator, Nissan 200SX
Best lap: 1:23.493
14. Bio-Hazard Racing, Ford Ranger
Best lap: 1:21.335
15. Lemoncello Racing, Honda Civic
Best lap: 1:22.127
16. Race Hard Race Uglier, BMW 325i
Best lap: 1:19.467
17. Longhorn Raceworks, Toyota Celica
Best lap: 1:16.870
18. The Smoking Eunuchs, Ford Mustang
Best lap: 1:22.838
19. Never Give Up, BMW 1600
Best lap: 1:17.600
20. Stop, Drop, And Rickroll, BMW 325e
Best lap: 1:19.962
21. State Pooper, Ford Mustang
Best lap: 1:20.778
22. Half-Assed Safety Fast, Infiniti Q45
Best lap: 1:20.353
23. Medically Challenged, Mitsubishi 3000GT
Best lap: 1:22.250
24. Rum Runners, Chevrolet Malibu
Best lap: 1:26.272
25. TnT Racing, Volkswagen Golf
Best lap: 1:19.193
26. "Z" Team, Toyota Celica
Best lap: 1:18.956
27. Tetanus Neon, Dodge Neon
Best lap: 1:21.070
28. TSOL, Saab 9000 Turbo
Best lap: 1:21.428
29. Blueballs Racing (Righty), Dodge Neon
Best lap: 1:19.670
30. Warthog Racing, BMW 325e
Best lap: 1:20.383
31. White Lightning Racing, Toyota Celica
Best lap: 1:19.971
32. Apex Vinyl TX Racing, Toyota Truck
Best lap: 1:27.377
33. Smilin' Bob Racing, Honda Accord
34. Unintended Acceleration, Audi 90 Quattro
Best lap: 1:16.274
35. Pwnage Racing, Mazda RX-7
Best lap: 1:20.690
36. Sheila And The Sheikhs, Ford Mustang
Best lap: 1:17.657
37. Saabs Gone Wild, Saab 900
Best lap: 1:17.737
38. Doggie Style Racing, Toyota MR2
Best lap: 1:19.290
39. Scuderia Suino Rosso, Mazda Miata
Best lap: 1:14.182
40. Delinquent Road Hazards, Acura Integra
Best lap: 1:14.490
41. Boehm Racing, Saab 900
Best lap: 1:24.799
42. El Toro Loco, Ford Taurus SHO
Best lap: 1:19.013
43. Cupcake Racing, Ford Thunderbird
Best lap: 1:26.580
44. Team Zip Tie, Ford Taurus SHO
Best lap: 1:17.388
45. Evel Kweasels, Toyota Corolla
Best lap: 1:19.033
46. Norwegian Slaabs Part Två, Saab 900
Best lap: 1:25.900
47. Rebel Z, Datsun 280ZX
Best lap: 1:20.019
48. Team Supraleggara, Toyota Supra
Best lap: 1:21.582
49. Gold Member, Toyota MR2
Best lap: 1:17.750
50. Griswold Racing, Ford Pinto Wagon
Best lap: 1:30.032
51. Witchdoctor/Bikini Racer, Chevrolet Camaro
Best lap: 1:19.661
52. Junk Punch Racing, Ford Mustang
Best lap: 1:27.506
53. Out Of Town Racing, BMW 325eS
Best lap: 1:19.314
54. Charlie's Ugly Angels, Ford Mustang II
Best lap: 1:20.219
55. Punisher Racing, Chevrolet Caprice
Best lap: 1:17.766
56. Team Screwdriver, Pontiac Bonnelinabird
Best lap: 1:22.215
57. Flying Asses, Mazda Miata
Best lap: 1:19.828
58. Blueballs Racing (Lefty), Plymouth Neon
Best lap: 1:21.100
59. Four Jerks And A Squirt, Chevrolet/Pontiac Camfireobird
Best lap: 1:22.090
60. Guild Of Calamitous Intent, Mazda RX-7
Best lap: 1:20.715
61. Rotorheads, Mazda RX-7
Best lap: 1:16.657
62. Los Diablos Racing Team, Chevrolet Camaro
Best lap: 1:23.438
63. 2nd Gear Racing, Pontiac Grand Prix
Best lap: 1:21:323
64. Guano By Desmodus Rufus, Mazda RX-7 GSL-SE
Best lap: 1:22.457
65. Stiff Competition, Mazda RX-7
Best lap: 1:18.325
66. Frogmasters, MGB-GT
Best lap: 1:21.343
67. Los Cucaroches, Ford Mustang
Best lap: 1:20.409
68. Red Pig Racing, Mazda Miata
Best lap: 1:15.036
69. Team Fat Cat Racing, Jaguar XJ6
Best lap: 1:24.378
70. Enzo Dysfunction, BMW 318i
Best lap: 1:18.095
71. Dukes Of Hiroshima, Nissan Sentra SE-R
Best lap: 1:20.245
72. Fairlady Action Rspn Team, Datsun 240Z
Best lap: 1:18.313
73. Flying Hoondee, Merkur XR4Ti
Best lap: 1:21.392
74. FUBAR Racing, Ford Escort
Best lap: 1:29.523
75. Toxic Asset Racing Program, Toyota MR2
Best lap: 1:21.035
76. Dyin Tryin, Honda CRX
Best lap: 1:23.467
77. Opular Dependence Team Israel, Opel GT
Best lap: 1:21.448
78. Team Mazdarati Corse GTA, Mazda Protegé
Best lap: 1:22.456
79. Lost In The Dark, Mazda MX-6
Best lap: 1:26.399
80. eLemonators, Toyota Celica
Best lap: 1:24.492
81. Team Lemonade, Toyota Celica
Best lap: 1:23.608
82. Geargrinders, Chevrolet Monte Carlo
Best lap: 1:28.954
83. Margarita, Dodge Neon
Best lap: 1:20.456
84. Prison Break Racing, BMW 325
Best lap: 1:32.825
85. Team Blue Goose, Honda CRX
Best lap: 1:23.052
86. Bangers And Mash, Honda Prelude
Best lap: 1:34.356
87. Race Hard Race Ugly Soot, BMW 325i
Best lap: 1:20.153
88. Team Sour Puss, Acura Integra
Best lap: 1:23.363
89. Project Yellow Racing, Honda CRX
Best lap: 1:27.579
90. Zebra Razing, Toyota Truck
Best lap: 1:28.549
91. Alfa Dogs, Alfa Romeo Milano
Best lap: 1:24.638
92. Team Kachow, Eagle Talon
Best lap: 1:28.617
93. Beermer, BMW 2002
Best lap: 1:39.809
94. Def Leppard Still Sucks, Ford Mustang
95. Viva Las Vegas, Honda CRX
Best lap: 1:22.139