The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMons

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For the first time ever, Detroit iron dominated a 24 Hours Of LeMons event, with American-built machinery taking four of the top five positions (if you consider a California-built Corolla to be American-built, that is).

We saw plenty of the usual LeMons suspects at MSR in Houston last weekend, with 10 Mustangs, 6 RX-7s, 6 E30s, 4 CRXs, 4 Neons, and 4 Miatas showing up, but we also had our first-ever Infiniti Q45, a pair of Toyota pickups, an Opel GT, and an MGB-GT (which managed to get around the track startlingly quickly, in between lengthy jail sentences in the Penalty Box). In addition to Mustangs coming in first and second, we saw some other world-turned-topsy-turvy events. How about a LeMons race in which four Saabs enter… and all four are still running at the end? Sure, all the Saabs earned the new-for-Houston punishment for hitting tire walls and/or cones (old tires bolted to the car's roof), but they didn't throw rods or send major suspension components skittering off into the weeds in the first 30 minutes of the race! A four-banger Mustang finished second, a Saturn came in third, an 80s Dodge Daytona managed to contend, and the majority of BMW E30s raced for two solid days without exhibiting the usual maddeningly undiagnosable electrical woes (blown head gaskets and axle failures, certainly, but we didn't see the all-too-common cruel drama of E30 crew members weeping over multimeters and wiring diagrams).

This time I'm going to include each team's best lap time, so y'all can see for yourselves how "fast" does not equal "win" in the 24 Hours Of LeMons. Those of you contemplating horsepower-enhancing cheats would do well to note that the four-cylinder Mustangs performed just as well as their V8 siblings, and you Miata and E30 guys can go ahead and keep thumping your chests about those absurdly quick lap times… but remember, your favorite cars got stomped by a Saturn! Those of you wanting obsessively complete lap info can go here; keep in mind that a few cars may be showing too-low best lap times due to having taken what the corner workers dubbed the "Neon Bypass" (in honor of the oft-penalized Blueballs Neons) off-road shortcut around the chicanes.

Before you go check out our 95 Texas racin' machines, I've got a video that true 24 Hours Of LeMons fans ought to find quite entertaining. First, we've got one of the hairiest Integra-jumps-BMW-wheel bits ever caught on film, courtesy of the Unintended Acceleration Audi's in-car camera:


Zerin Dube, editor of Speed:Sport:Life volunteered for judging duties at the race, and he also did a good job covering the goings-on at his site. You'll enjoy the Penalty Box Punishments and the rest of the SSL race coverage.

Thanks to Zerin Dube, TheEastBayKid, Myke Toman, and a whole bunch of race team members for many of the photographs below.
When you're done here, be sure to check out the participants of previous LeMons events, including Arse Freeze '08, Texas '08, Toledo '08, New England '08, South '08, San Francisco '08, Arse Freeze '07, and San Francisco '07. I'll put up some more LeMons stuff when I get back to my normal weekend schedule, too. And now, the racers of the 2009 Gator-O-Rama:

The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMons

1. Formula M For Mullet, Ford Mustang
Best lap: 1:18.320


2. Shake & Bake 4 Cyl Mustang, Ford Mustang
Best lap: 1:19.426


3. The Cajun Coonasses, Saturn SL2
Best lap: 1:19.061


4. The SCHWING Team, Toyota Corolla FX16
Best lap: 1.19.274


5. 1.21 Jigawatts, Mazda RX-7
Best lap: 1:20.402


6. Polizei Und Banditen, BMW 325e
Best lap: 1:16.843


7. MusTank Racing Inc, Ford Mustang
Best lap: 1:17.081


8. Detroit Bailout, Toyota Supra
Best lap: 1:24.508


9. Z-Wrecks, Datsun 280ZX
Best lap: 1:17.597


10. Low Budget Racing, Datsun 280ZX
Best lap: 1:21.403


11. A-Team, Dodge Daytona
Best lap: 1:27.085


12. Rear Impact, Mazda Miata
Best lap: 1:19.115


13. Brawndo, The Thirst Mutilator, Nissan 200SX
Best lap: 1:23.493


14. Bio-Hazard Racing, Ford Ranger
Best lap: 1:21.335


15. Lemoncello Racing, Honda Civic
Best lap: 1:22.127


16. Race Hard Race Uglier, BMW 325i
Best lap: 1:19.467


17. Longhorn Raceworks, Toyota Celica
Best lap: 1:16.870


18. The Smoking Eunuchs, Ford Mustang
Best lap: 1:22.838


19. Never Give Up, BMW 1600
Best lap: 1:17.600


20. Stop, Drop, And Rickroll, BMW 325e
Best lap: 1:19.962


21. State Pooper, Ford Mustang
Best lap: 1:20.778


22. Half-Assed Safety Fast, Infiniti Q45
Best lap: 1:20.353


23. Medically Challenged, Mitsubishi 3000GT
Best lap: 1:22.250


24. Rum Runners, Chevrolet Malibu
Best lap: 1:26.272


25. TnT Racing, Volkswagen Golf
Best lap: 1:19.193


26. "Z" Team, Toyota Celica
Best lap: 1:18.956


27. Tetanus Neon, Dodge Neon
Best lap: 1:21.070


28. TSOL, Saab 9000 Turbo
Best lap: 1:21.428


29. Blueballs Racing (Righty), Dodge Neon
Best lap: 1:19.670


30. Warthog Racing, BMW 325e
Best lap: 1:20.383


31. White Lightning Racing, Toyota Celica
Best lap: 1:19.971


32. Apex Vinyl TX Racing, Toyota Truck
Best lap: 1:27.377


33. Smilin' Bob Racing, Honda Accord


34. Unintended Acceleration, Audi 90 Quattro
Best lap: 1:16.274


35. Pwnage Racing, Mazda RX-7
Best lap: 1:20.690


36. Sheila And The Sheikhs, Ford Mustang
Best lap: 1:17.657


37. Saabs Gone Wild, Saab 900
Best lap: 1:17.737


38. Doggie Style Racing, Toyota MR2
Best lap: 1:19.290


39. Scuderia Suino Rosso, Mazda Miata
Best lap: 1:14.182


40. Delinquent Road Hazards, Acura Integra
Best lap: 1:14.490


41. Boehm Racing, Saab 900
Best lap: 1:24.799


42. El Toro Loco, Ford Taurus SHO
Best lap: 1:19.013


43. Cupcake Racing, Ford Thunderbird
Best lap: 1:26.580


44. Team Zip Tie, Ford Taurus SHO
Best lap: 1:17.388


45. Evel Kweasels, Toyota Corolla
Best lap: 1:19.033


46. Norwegian Slaabs Part Två, Saab 900
Best lap: 1:25.900


47. Rebel Z, Datsun 280ZX
Best lap: 1:20.019


48. Team Supraleggara, Toyota Supra
Best lap: 1:21.582


49. Gold Member, Toyota MR2
Best lap: 1:17.750


50. Griswold Racing, Ford Pinto Wagon
Best lap: 1:30.032


51. Witchdoctor/Bikini Racer, Chevrolet Camaro
Best lap: 1:19.661


52. Junk Punch Racing, Ford Mustang
Best lap: 1:27.506


53. Out Of Town Racing, BMW 325eS
Best lap: 1:19.314


54. Charlie's Ugly Angels, Ford Mustang II
Best lap: 1:20.219


55. Punisher Racing, Chevrolet Caprice
Best lap: 1:17.766


56. Team Screwdriver, Pontiac Bonnelinabird
Best lap: 1:22.215


57. Flying Asses, Mazda Miata
Best lap: 1:19.828


58. Blueballs Racing (Lefty), Plymouth Neon
Best lap: 1:21.100


59. Four Jerks And A Squirt, Chevrolet/Pontiac Camfireobird
Best lap: 1:22.090


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60. Guild Of Calamitous Intent, Mazda RX-7
Best lap: 1:20.715


61. Rotorheads, Mazda RX-7
Best lap: 1:16.657


62. Los Diablos Racing Team, Chevrolet Camaro
Best lap: 1:23.438


63. 2nd Gear Racing, Pontiac Grand Prix
Best lap: 1:21:323


64. Guano By Desmodus Rufus, Mazda RX-7 GSL-SE
Best lap: 1:22.457


65. Stiff Competition, Mazda RX-7
Best lap: 1:18.325


66. Frogmasters, MGB-GT
Best lap: 1:21.343


67. Los Cucaroches, Ford Mustang
Best lap: 1:20.409


68. Red Pig Racing, Mazda Miata
Best lap: 1:15.036


69. Team Fat Cat Racing, Jaguar XJ6
Best lap: 1:24.378


70. Enzo Dysfunction, BMW 318i
Best lap: 1:18.095


71. Dukes Of Hiroshima, Nissan Sentra SE-R
Best lap: 1:20.245


72. Fairlady Action Rspn Team, Datsun 240Z
Best lap: 1:18.313


73. Flying Hoondee, Merkur XR4Ti
Best lap: 1:21.392


74. FUBAR Racing, Ford Escort
Best lap: 1:29.523


75. Toxic Asset Racing Program, Toyota MR2
Best lap: 1:21.035


76. Dyin Tryin, Honda CRX
Best lap: 1:23.467


77. Opular Dependence Team Israel, Opel GT
Best lap: 1:21.448


78. Team Mazdarati Corse GTA, Mazda Protegé
Best lap: 1:22.456


79. Lost In The Dark, Mazda MX-6
Best lap: 1:26.399


80. eLemonators, Toyota Celica
Best lap: 1:24.492


81. Team Lemonade, Toyota Celica
Best lap: 1:23.608


82. Geargrinders, Chevrolet Monte Carlo
Best lap: 1:28.954


83. Margarita, Dodge Neon
Best lap: 1:20.456


84. Prison Break Racing, BMW 325
Best lap: 1:32.825


85. Team Blue Goose, Honda CRX
Best lap: 1:23.052


86. Bangers And Mash, Honda Prelude
Best lap: 1:34.356


87. Race Hard Race Ugly Soot, BMW 325i
Best lap: 1:20.153


88. Team Sour Puss, Acura Integra
Best lap: 1:23.363


89. Project Yellow Racing, Honda CRX
Best lap: 1:27.579


90. Zebra Razing, Toyota Truck
Best lap: 1:28.549


91. Alfa Dogs, Alfa Romeo Milano
Best lap: 1:24.638


92. Team Kachow, Eagle Talon
Best lap: 1:28.617


93. Beermer, BMW 2002
Best lap: 1:39.809


94. Def Leppard Still Sucks, Ford Mustang


95. Viva Las Vegas, Honda CRX
Best lap: 1:22.139