Good morning! Welcome to The Morning Shift, your roundup of the auto news you crave, all in one place every weekday morning. Here are the stories you need to know.

The internet, and the astounding degree of personal connection it gives to all of us, is absolutely incredible. But at the same time, it makes me nostalgic for the days when we had to wait for our heroes to die and bitter tell-all books to be published to find out what pieces of shit they were.

Bloomberg is out this morning with a a well-reported, well-sourced deep-dive into Tesla’s ongoing Model 3 production hell, which is worth reading in full. I will highlight a few passages here, though, one revealing an episode of absurdist horror and the other, well, the other is just very, very bleak.

The time has now come: Even if you didn’t reserve one during the Eisenhower administration, you can now order a Tesla Model 3. Of course, you can’t order a $35,000 Model 3 because that doesn’t exist. But the SpaceX submarine does exist and is currently just left in a cave, so if you want that maybe Elon will let you…

Tesla did it. Sort of. It hit its goal of 5,000 Tesla Model 3s per week (albeit half a year late), bringing it to over 7,000 cars a week total. Production was up 55 percent this past quarter over the one before it, Tesla says, and the company is declaring it all its trouble“worth it.” But there has been trouble.

Amid considerable doubt about its future, production methods and labor practices, Tesla reportedly hit a crucial milestone for the Model 3 sedan today: the elusive and long-sought goal of 5,000 cars produced per week. While the company hasn’t officially confirmed the news, it’s a huge deal if it’s accurate and one…

Tesla has been building cars for nearly 15 years, but it’s still learning the best way to do that as it ramps up production of the make-or-break Model 3 to the target of 5,000 cars per month. It’s much more a running work in progress than you might think.

If you’ve ever done design work or art work or nearly any creative work for hire, at some point you’ve most likely encountered some asshole who wants to use your work for free in exchange for “exposure.” It now appears that Elon Musk is one of those assholes, stealing an image of a farting unicorn from an artist.

Good morning! Welcome to The Morning Shift, your roundup of the auto news you crave, all in one place every weekday morning. Here are the important stories that you need to know in order to win difficult rounds of Jeopardy!

We were shocked to learn late last year that there’s a new Tesla Roadster on the way. We were almost speechless when CEO Elon Musk started making claims that it could hit 60 mph in less than two seconds. Now a company test driver is claiming the insane figures we’ve been promised have only been “conservative”…

Late Wednesday, after Tesla filed a lawsuit against former Gigafactory technician Marty Tripp, the ex-technician shared emails with the Washington Post that highlighted a heated back-and-forth between him and CEO Elon Musk. At first, it seemed like Musk fired off a quick jab before the suit was filed, calling Tripp a…

In a bizarre email sent out on Sunday, Elon Musk apparently claimed a Tesla employee sabotaged the company’s manufacturing operations and leaked sensitive information to third parties. On top of that, CNBC reports, the billionaire sent another email on Monday implying that someone may have intentionally started a fire…

Come on, Elon, try to keep up. I know you’re busy running all those companies and spending some quality Grimes-times, but if you took a minute or two to do a quick Google search, you’d have noticed that I wrote about incorporating small rockets into a car just like you proposed in your tweet. This was back in 2012! I…

Good morning! Welcome to The Morning Shift, your roundup of the auto news you crave, all in one place every weekday morning. Here are the important stories you need to know.

During Tuesday’s Tesla shareholder meeting, CEO Elon Musk said the company would never develop motorcycles because he almost died while riding one when he was 17.

Tesla CEO Elon Musk announced that full production of the entry-level $35,000 Tesla Model 3, arguably the motivating factor behind the majority of the car’s hundreds of thousands of deposits, will begin in the first quarter of next year at Tuesday’s monthly shareholder meeting.

Tesla CEO Elon Musk is a billionaire. He has access to a private jet. It was a holiday weekend. Faced with similar circumstances, he could’ve done literally anything the human mind could conjure up. Instead, he spent the weekend tweeting, getting caught up with Actual Nazis, and then tweeting some more. This is a play…

Tesla is trying to ramp up production of the Tesla Model 3 to 5,000 units per week by the end of June, and it’s starting to see some progress toward that goal. This week, the automaker pushed out 500 Model 3s in a 24-hour period, according to an email from CEO Elon Musk.

Elon Musk, of Tesla fame, is back on his bullshit about the media today. The latest idea—from the man who just recently invented the subway—is this: a website where the public can rate the credibility of journalists and publications. Cool.

Hello, devout Jalopnik readers. I’m sure by now you’re well aware that Elon Musk, the Tesla/Space X billionaire bro, the big kid with an even bigger wallet, is dating Grimes, the Canadian indie musician/producer/critically acclaimed weirdo, born Claire Elise Boucher. But who are these people? What does it all mean?