Nice Price Or Crack PipeIs this used car a good deal? You decide!  

Today’s Nice Price or Crack Pipe Saab is a blast from the past that’s probably still a blast to drive. Let’s see if its price and condition equal a blast of a deal too.

In a world where the future appears bleak it’s understandable that as a society we may seek comfort in the past. That’s why retro cars have long been so popular. Of course the past embodied by yesterday’s retro-esque 1989 Mustang Boss 5.0 was not one that many of you were having.

Even fewer of you could kitten to its almost nineteen-grand price and that custom pony galloped off with an impressively bad 87% Crack Pipe loss. Considering that result, I think it’s time we all stopped horsing around.

Saab is dead. Its corporate corpse has been shuttled between Chinese and Indian owners in the hopes of achieving some sort of Frankenstinian rebirth as an electric car company, or maybe some new brand of chutney-flavored suppository, I don’t know.

When it was alive and very Swedish, Saab proved to be one of history’s most eclectic car makers. They didn’t just march to the beat of their own drummer, they built cars the way blind men describe elephants.


This 1982 Saab 900 Turbo Liftback is a fine example of the marque’s unique take on personal transportation. What’s so weird about it? Well, look at it. The windshield wraps around to the A-pillars affording excellent forward visibility. Follow the line its base describes back and you’ll find a utilitarian hatch, an oddity on cars in this class. The hood is a massive clamshell affair, and to be honest, not everybody likes clams.

It’s all pretty much Saab-eriffic, and in fact the only possible misstep on this particular one might just be the aftermarket wheels, but they’re not horrible.


Step inside and you’ll find seats that are more comfortable than your mom’s cooking and an ignition switch that locks the gearshift for theft protection and not the steering column. Lastly, the engine in the 900 sits bass-akwards.

That Triumph-derived four is turbo’d here. The H-series 1,985-cc four was rated at 143-bhp from the factory but there’s no word on whether or not this one is a late ’82 with the APC. Regardless, a five-speed manual is the tranny of choice here.


The car is described as being in “good” condition and rocks an older respray that’s so white it could vie for a cabinet position in the trump administration. It looks presentable in the 2014 pictures, I wonder however, just how well it’s held up over the past couple of years.

As a matter of fact, I’d like to take a moment here to advise all the potential sellers of their crap out there to take the time to actually go out and have a current picture taken when you do. Hell, if you don’t have any way to make a Kodak moment yourself then run a red light camera and just use that pic. It’s just common sense.

We get to see the interior in 2014 too and it looks serviceable and gloriously brown. One thing I’d like to point out to all you millennials is the odd knob on a short arm featured on each door. Those are, remarkably, the cranks for the manual windows, and from those the phrase “roll down the window” is derived. The more you know…


The seller says this Saab runs well, and moreover stops well. The dash lights up but that’s all for nought when it comes to the odometer which apparently gave up the ghost at an impressive 215,000 miles.

It passes California smog which is good, but does come with questionable A/C because it’s been living in the Bay Area and according to the seller that’s not needed in San Francisco. I however, beg to differ. It’s probably not needed in Washington State either, and that seems to be where the 2014 pics were apparently taken.


A clean title rounds out the short description of the car’s bonafides so yay that. Interestingly, the seller’s pricing acumen is as weird as some of his Saab’s design features. He asks for $2,000 or “over $1,400 before the 20th.” It’s now the 22nd and it’s seemingly still up for sale so I say let’s not play that game.

Instead we’ll stick with his $1,400 initial proposal, and it’s not time for you to vote on whether or not you think that’s a deal based on this Saab’s as-presented condition. What do you think, does $1,400 has you wanting to have this 900 re-born of jets? Or, does it seem just to sketchy to ask that much?

You decide!


San Francisco Bay Area Craigslist, or go here if the ad disappears.

H/T to Batshitbox over on Hooniverse for the hookup!

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