The subway: it's not just for getting urinated on anymore! Jalopnik readers know that all kinds of strange things happen underground, and here's video proof.
Welcome back to Answers of the Day - our daily Jalopnik feature where we take the best ten responses from the previous day's Question of the Day and shine it up to show off. It's by you and for you, the Jalopnik readers. Enjoy!
What's interesting about subways is that they force people into an enclosed space for an extended period of time. You could end up being part of a little morality play every time you ride.
For example, at the end of January, a train on Washington D.C.'s green line lost power and shut down in a tunnel for several hours. It was like Lord of the Flies in there. People were running for their lives, there were bodily fluids everywhere, it was a mess. In the subway, you are never more than a signal malfunction away from total chaos.
That's why we have set these ten videos up as a series of lessons. They will give you a taste of what to expect while riding the train. They should steel your resolve for when a guy shows you his Mr. Naughtypants, or when you see the participants of the world's most drunk bachelorette party start fighting each other.
That said, we only have room for ten lessons. Let us know the craziest things you've seen on the train, and what lessons you learned.
Photo Credit: Improv Everywhere
10.) Mirror Train
Lesson One: Remember that while you are just trying to get home, there are some schmucks who have time to participate in pranks like the human mirror here.
Suggested By: 6cyl
9.) Copenhagen Philharmonic Bombs A Train
Lesson Two: Not everything on the subway is terrible. Well, if you live in Scandinavia, maybe.
Suggested By: GR1M RACER
8.) Toronto Batman Versus Toronto Spiderman
Lesson Three: In most of your daily life, dressing up as a superhero and having mock battles with other people dressed as comic book characters is frowned upon. Not so in the subway. Just go for it.
Suggested By: robxb
7.) Star Wars Subway
Lesson Four: Everyone loves Star Wars. Learn how to milk that crap.
Suggested By: Highball!
6.) Mr. Methane Tortures The Paris Metro
Lesson Five: British people are strange, and will fart at French people for amusement. This video is a good example of why it was a good idea for us Americans to start our own country.
Suggested By: Scrape
5.) "I'm Trying To Fornicate"
Lesson Six: The subway is a bad place to try and get a hookup, even if you are making the frankly generous offer of $20, some weed, and some booze.
Suggested By: livedeliberatelychic1
4.) Rat On Dude's Face
Lesson Seven: Do not sleep on the subway.
Suggested By: Highball!
3.) Chip Man To The Rescue
Lesson Eight: You have the power to keep the trains orderly, even just by stepping in silently and eating some chips.
Suggested By: confuzdbycloudz
2.) Sex On The Subway
Lesson Nine: If you think you've done something crazy on the subway, someone else has done something crazier. You can watch the video here on Gawker, where the righteousness/terribleness of this couple is debated as well.
Suggested By: Super Kiwi Zorro
1.) Shoe Licking
Lesson Ten: If you ride the subway, be prepared to watch a dude lick a shoe like it was Emma Stone bathing in milk.
With these ten lessons, you should now be better prepared for whatever you encounter in the metro. Except for shoe licking. That's still gnarly.
Suggested By: ATR135