Ten Unbreakable Rules For Riding In My CarS

When you get into a car, do you like to touch buttons, eat, chat, drink, and smoke? Jalopnik readers want you the hell out of their cars.

Welcome back to Answers of the Day - our daily Jalopnik feature where we take the best ten responses from the previous day's Question of the Day and shine it up to show off. It's by you and for you, the Jalopnik readers. Enjoy!

What's the most annoying thing people can do in the passenger seat of my car? I certainly know the answer. Sitting a dog there is not on the list. I'm very forgiving when it comes to dogs.

Everything else on this list? Not so much.

Photo Credit: Stamatis Chania


10.) Leave the radio/windows/horn alone

Ten Unbreakable Rules For Riding In My CarS

Mr. Sinister has only a few rules, most of which are about staying put in the passenger seat. I'm going to print this out:

DO NOT constantly mess with the power windows. I have a friend that is constantly adjusting his window, and it drives me insane. So much that I now refer to it as Baileying the window (his last name is Bailey). I love the guy like a brother, but Jesus.

DO NOT touch the radio, unless given permission. Don't like Slayer? Don't ride with me.

DO NOT reach across me and honk my horn (does that sound dirty?). WTF are you even thinking doing this? I'm not blaring my horn at mundane annoyances because I don't want to look like a dick. Please do not make me look like a dick.

Suggested By: Mr. Sinister, Photo Credit: Bigstock


9.) No feet on the dash/in the window (unless having sex)

Ten Unbreakable Rules For Riding In My CarS

I'm not very forgiving about letting you mess up my whole car except in very specific circumstances, as Who needs sway bars anyway puts it:

Unless we are having sex, if you put your feet on the dash board I will push you out of the car. Nothing annoys me more than when people just stick their feet up on the dash. My damn Brother is 6'7 and even he contorts himself to put his feet up, and I have to yell at him.

Suggested By: Who needs sway bars anyway, Photo Credit: Bigstock


8.) Only water in the cabin as far as fluids go

Ten Unbreakable Rules For Riding In My CarS

MooseKnuckles is not impressed with his Mazda 6, nor with people ruining its resale value:

In my shitty piece of shit-shit 07 Mazda6S, no puking, that's really my only rule... oh and don't do anything that could greatly affect the resale value, I need to be able to unload this thing for max $$$ in June. My 08 CTS, any of my close friends no how spotlessly clean I keep all my cars so most are afraid to eat anything without asking first and I've had people apologize for leaving gravel/mud foot prints on the floor mats/carpet. Again no puking and also no dumbfuck manoeuvres, I don't want shit broke, scuffed, or scratched.

Water is the only acceptable fluid in the cabin. That means no handjobs either.

Suggested By: MooseKnuckles, Photo Credit: Bigstock


7.) No smoking area

Ten Unbreakable Rules For Riding In My CarS

It's simple. As eaglescout1984 puts it:

I don't care if it's cigarettes, cigars, pipe, weed, crack, meth, incense, wood, coal, etc. If it produces smoke, it's not allowed in my car.

Suggested By: $kaycog, Photo Credit: Getty Images


6.) No sitting on the car

Ten Unbreakable Rules For Riding In My CarS

Zuzax also has a long list of things you can't do with his car, but the most important is no leaning/sitting/whatever on the body panels. Baby, no matter how skinny your ass is, it's not going on my car.

Suggested By: Zuzax, Photo Credit: Getty Images


5.) No handguns

Easy to see why.

Suggested By: Speedmonkey


4.) No hitting on chicks

It's just the question of having good manners. People might know you in the area, it's my car, so why on Earth is this idiot trying so hard to get laid from the passenger seat?

Suggested By: b33g33


3.) No flipping people off

Ten Unbreakable Rules For Riding In My CarS

Don't be flipping off that methhead with the face tattoo who just cut us off. Except if you're Iggy Pop. Then I must encourage you to do so.

Suggested By: b33g33, Photo Credit: Getty Images


2.) Buckle up

Ten Unbreakable Rules For Riding In My CarS

It's so tiring when people start complaining about how uncomfortable seat belts are. Unless you are really fat, they just aren't. If you feel uncomfortable, we might stop for a while to stretch a bit. But you will use the belt from the moment I put it the car in gear.

Suggested By: phantastic8, Photo Credit: Bigstock


1.) Do not comment on my driving, my car, or in fact anything

Ten Unbreakable Rules For Riding In My CarS

Telling me how crappy my car is? You're gonna have a bad time. Telling me how to drive my own car? You're gonna have a bad time. Let's just say it's healthier to keep comments to minimum.

Suggested By: syaieya, Photo Credit: Getty Images