FLASH! BANG! ZOOM! THE NEW LAMBORGHINI HURACÁN PERFORMANTE JUST SMASHED THROUGH THE PRODUCTION CAR LAP RECORD AT THE NÜRBURGRING. Holy fuck! Who saw that one coming? YOU DID.

Look. Just look at it go. Around the corners. Through the bends. Zwish! It’s fast! I can’t handle how fast it is.

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That puny Porsche 918 time? The one that was under seven minutes that everyone made a big stink about?

This Lamborghini is faster. By five seconds. Damn!

What will humanity accomplish next?