The seller of today’s Nice Price or Crack Pipe Volvo doesn’t know a lot about its past, making it sort of a mystery machine. Let’s see if its present condition and price makes that unknown mostly unimportant.

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What is it about big brown boxes that gets Jalops all hot and bothered? Are we all a bunch of closeted UPS fetishists? It’s the shorts and the knee socks, right? Hubba, hubba.

Whatever the cause of the freaky underlying umber urges, yesterday’s 1982 Toyota Land Cruiser—which was as brown and boxy as all get out—delivered a respectable 57% Nice Price win at its under five-grand asking. That was even despite the unintentional lightening efforts made possible buy some less than desirable creeping road rot.

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Another form of creep, in an additive form rather than subtractive fashion, is represented in today’s 1984 Volvo 240 wagon. Over the years, this Euro-spec hauler has had a number of features either replaced or affixed, making it the smoking hot Frankenstein’s Bride you see today. Of course, as you might expect having grown up on George Lucas movies, it’s still a work in progress.

First off, let’s check out the engine powering this white wagon. That’s a VW turbo diesel—the 24dt—which is a 2,377-cc six that the factory spec’d at a mighty 106-bhp and 140 lb-ft of torque. Backing that up is a Volvo M46 four-speed with a Laycock de Normanville planetary overdrive, and there ain’t nothing more fun to say than Laycock de Normanville. Go ahead and try it!

The seller says he doesn’t know who put the engine in the car, nor when the switcheroo was done, but he has since added to the equation with an intercooler and electronic boost control. Fancy!

The seller goes on to note the additional additions of some lowered IPD suspension bits, a rebuilt injector pump and new timing belt, plus a new battery for good cell reception. That apparently has not been enough of a sacrifice to appease the angry Nordic Gods however, and the car is also claimed to need new ball joints, some rust repair, and a good bit of its interior reinstalled. There’s also a broken door handle, a leaky air shock in the back and… well, I don’t want to sound like a Debbie Downer, just read the ad.

On the plus side, the car looks to be solid other than the assorted pinholes and blisters, and it only has 153,000 or so miles on the clock. It seems to have originally been a Euro car so you get the huge (don’t say Yuuuge!) headlights, a flat hood, and that air suspension. The IP is in MPH however so you won’t have to learn the metric system to avoid speeding tickets.

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The price is in good old American dollars too, thirty-one hundred of them to be exact. What’s your take on this interesting old Volvo—that needs some love—and that $3,100 price tag? Does that seem like it might just add up to a deal? Or, is it just too far gone to ask so much?

You decide!

Portland OR Craigslist, or go here if the ad disappears.

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H/T to Dubwize for the hookup!

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