For $4,400, Won’t Someone Please Think Of The Children?S

The artist formerly and currently known as Prince may have wanted to party like it's 1999 but today's Nice Price or Crack Pipe phone booth Ford will let you Festiva like its 1991. Turbo'd and flared, do you think this lime-colored custom is worth its asking price in green?

Voting Crack Pipe on yesterday's Custom '65 Mustang Pickup means the terrorists win. However, in a sharp rebuke to the purveyors of hate, that ‘Stang with Ranchero dressing came away with a stunning 67% Nice Price win, adding yet another triumph to America's crowded trophy shelf.

Not to toot our horn too loudly but it's been a freakin' week for American fist pumps, chest bumps and celebratory flatulence. First we've been literally bringing home the gold in London, then Sunday night JPL totally sticks the landing on Mars, .and now a six cylinder Mustang takes home a Nice Price win. I'm getting a little choked up with national pride here.

You know another thing that makes America great is our warm and total embrace of foreigners and their cultures, hell we love ‘em! Anything that takes us out of our comfort zone gets a thumbs up from us, and that especially goes for them funny dang furrin' cars. That is, most of the time. There have been certain foreign makes that have not been all that welcome here, and one that has never really had the red white and blue welcome mat laid out for it was Ford's Korean-made Festiva. But this Lime Green Turbo'd ‘91 may change that forever.

For $4,400, Won’t Someone Please Think Of The Children?S

Festivas and NPOCP typically go together about as well as gym class rope climbs and explosive diarrhea, but we recently had another one that brought the feral Festiva fanatics out of the woodwork. It seems that with the Festiva, dropping the 1.8-litre twin cam out of the Escort GT underhood has the same effect as removing the glasses and frumpy clothes does in making a hottie out of a nottie.

This one adds to the ‘95 Ford twin cam a pressurized intake, complete with intercooler poking through the carved-out front bumper and purple pop-off poking out the grille. Like the blouse button straining to contain Pamela Lee's ample assets, the hotted up engine parts spilling forth imply the engine's power being barely contained by the tiny phone booth like car.

For $4,400, Won’t Someone Please Think Of The Children?S

It looks like a lot of money has gone under-hood on this Festiva and the ad goes into pretty good detail of how it was spent. None of it however was apparently spent on the interior which has been gutted down to the bare floors. That should at least make it hose-out-able but should you require some semblence of civility the seller says he has it all except the carpet to go back in.

On the outside the bolted-on black plastic flares and lowered ride height go a long way to imbue the car with some testosterone, while the black paint on the headlamps warrants removal because it makes the car look like this.

For $4,400, Won’t Someone Please Think Of The Children?S

One final note about this Festiva is that the seller makes no bones about it being NC-17 and definitely no for the kids. Considering that he's claiming a dyno'd 182-whp in a car weighing less than 1,820-lbs and with a wheelbase of only 90-inches, that may be well warranted.

Perhaps not so well warranted is the $4,400 asking price - less if you can live without the fat wheels/tires and the air/fuel gauge. Me? I gotta' have it all. So, what do you think, is this green meanie Festiva worth $4,400? Or, does that price indicate that the Kids are all wrong?

You decide!

Lancaster Craigslist or go here if the ad disappears.

H/T to nts5039 for the hookup!

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