Stock car interiors are generally boring and terrible. That doesn't mean that your average knucklehead can improve them. These ten mods picked by Jalopnik readers show the worst attempts of all to "improve" a car's cockpit.
Welcome back to Answers of the Day — our daily Jalopnik feature where we take the best ten responses from the previous day's Question of the Day and shine it up to show off. It's by you and for you, the Jalopnik readers. Enjoy!
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Photo Credit: Alpine Electronics
10.) Pimp My Ride's TV screens
Suggested By: Vlan1, CobraJoe
Why it's horrifying: The worst Pimp My Ride interior mod was, by far, when they ripped out the rear seats of a car and then promptly put LCD screens in the back of the front seats. It was a symbolic gesture of complete brainlessness.
We wish we could remember what episode it was in, but we don't have the stomach to go check.
One of our readers turned it up, and you can watch the episode here. The interior review is at around 17 minutes in.
Photo Credit: MTV
9.) The S-Class cottage
Suggested By: For Sweden
Why it's horrifying: The Top Gear motto is "ambitious, but rubbish" and the Quaint My Ride S-Class holds perfectly to that standard. The footwells were leveled with concrete, making the car impossibly heavy, and none of the seats are attached to the floor. Brilliant.
8.) Self-painted interior
Why it's horrifying: If you sit in your car long enough you start to think, "Hey, I could just paint that boring black plastic an interesting color and then everything would be better!" Don't do it. Just don't.
Photo Credit: eaglescout1984
7.) The fluffer's Corolla
Suggested By: lipstanel
Why it's horrifying: This fluffed-out '98 Corolla hatchback is for sale in Estonia for a mere $2,472 (1990 Euros - special price!). In no time at all, you could be enjoying the sick wet dog stench of this car once it gets even the slightest bit damp or dirty.
Photo Credit: auto24.ee
6.) Alpine's Mini Speedster
Why it's horrifying: Driving in this 2004 award-winning custom Mini with its fiberglass monstrosity of an interior would be like living in a fun house. If you like that idea, that's great. The rest of us will steer clear.
Photo Credit: Alpine Electronics
5.) The Nudie Mobile
Suggested By: $kaycog
Why it's horrifying: I do not possess the depth to understand the work of Kiev-born Nudie Cohn, the great rhinestone cowboy, who decorated Elvis and Johnny Cash. Nor can I understand his leather-wrapped Cadillacs, studded with silver dollars, pistols, horns, and a saddle for kids to sit on. It's sort of magnificent and sort of repulsive at the same time.
Photo Credit: Judy Baxter
4.) Ueli Anliker's SLR
Suggested By: Leadhead
Why it's horrifying: As if the exterior wasn't enough of a travesty, the Swiss nutjob Ueli Anliker red-golded the interior of his McMerc SLR Roadster. The logo is encrusted in rubies and it was once estimated at $4.3 million.
Photo Credit: autoblog.nl
3.) Dildo shifters
Why it's horrifying: This isn't even a gay thing – if someone fit a fake vagina over their car's keyhole it'd be on this list too. We just don't want to be handling plastic genitalia every time we change gears.
It might work as a good theft deterrent, but the unofficial truck nuts of the JDM scene are not for us.
Photo Credit: Craigslist
2.) Billet steering wheel
Why it's horrifying: We're not fans of the "billet everything" fad for custom American cars. The worst example of the breed was this all-aluminum steering wheel, which waits to sear your hands with first degree burns the first time you park it in the sun.
Photo Credit: myrideisme.com
1.) Dash-mounted 15" monitor
Suggested By: dolo54 blows minds and blows engines!
Why it's horrifying: The owner of this '91 300ZX will probably enjoy watching movies on the biggest dash-mounted screen in any car, right up until the truck that was in his massive blind spot crushes him to death.
Photo Credit: Craigslist/Carscoop