We like cars. We don't like chintzy automotive products that are somehow tangentially related to cars. Jalopnik readers have picked out these ten examples of the very worst stocking stuffers you could dump on a car nut.
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Photo Credit: yab design
10.) Air fresheners
Suggested By: Mat Dubord
Why it's terrible: They smell awful, particularly the black ice ones. It's as simple as that.
Photo Credit: John Lobel
9.) Hitch Hands
Suggested By: TOYS'Я'NONYNMAU5
Why it's terrible: We can understand buying truck nutz, we really can. Everyone knows they're terrible, you get them as a joke, fine.
There is no excuse for hitch hands. Own them and you will be shunned. Check out their website if you want to buy something to ruin a friend's truck.
Photo Credit: Hitch Hands
8.) Headlight eyelashes
Suggested By: LuckyChuck
Why it's terrible: Headlight eyelashes might be the opposite of truck nutz, but not in a good way.
If someone you know already has the misfortune of driving a New Beetle, don't add insult to injury and give them a set of these, too. Also, don't ruin a Fiat 500 like this.
Photo Credit: thebarrowboy
7.) Fuzzy Dice
Suggested By: GT40 in a Brown Paper Bag
Why it's terrible: If you happen to know someone who actually got their act together to buy a sweet American land yacht, do not buy him or her fuzzy dice. Your friend wants to drive a cool old cruiser, not a rolling stereotype.
Photo Credit: William Fisher
6.) Stick-on anything
Suggested By: rawtoast
Why it's terrible: From fake portholes to fake carbon fiber to fake gunshot holes, if it can be stuck onto your car, it's awful and should be avoided like the plague.
Photo Credit: Auto Ventshade
5.) Maisto die-cast PT Cruisers
Suggested By: LuckyChuck
Why it's terrible: You might be surprised to find out that people pay actual money to buy die-cast PT cruisers.
While some of us do like die-cast cars, there is no one who looks at one of these models without a feeling of shame, disgust, and even some melancholy disappointment.
Photo Credit: Voiture-Miniature
4.) Ed Hardy steering wheel cover
Suggested By: nurph
Why it's terrible: First of all, we don't want a cheesy steering wheel cover in the first place. Might we recommend a nice leather or faux-leather wrap?
Whatever you decide upon, do not for all that is holy give us an Ed Hardy steering wheel cover. The leaping koi, the dragons, the hearts, we don't want to have to hold onto them for any length of time, let alone day-in, day-out on the way to work.
Photo Credit: bonanza.com
3.) Armor All kits
Suggested By: I Can be Stig?
Why it's terrible: When you're looking through the automotive section of your local mini mart at 11 o'clock on the 24th, don't walk past the sets of tools that a person could actually use just to buy a greasy, shiny spray bottle of Armor All.
Few people really want to get a gift of a cleaning product, but even in the case that you do know someone who enjoys cleaning his or her car, buy something nice, not this trash.
Photo Credit: Armor All
2.) Ferrari nose cone/steering wheel clock
Suggested By: Jones Foyer
Why it's terrible: Even the model is ashamed of this cubist mash-up of a Ferrari nose cone and a Ferrari steering wheel into an alarm clock.
Honestly, we were surprised there is a worse car-themed alarm clock than the ones made in the shape of Hummer H2s.
Photo Credit: yab design
1.) Automotive apparel for brands you don't care about, or this
Suggested By: GuacaBirthday!
Why it's terrible: You might find it embarrassing to get some brand-specific car apparel for Christmas and we don't blame you. Corvette hats, Mustang ties, they're not everyone's cup of tea.
None of those are anywhere near as terrible as this non-brand-specific polo, featuring both Porsche AND Ferrari logos. In fact, it's so terrible that now we actually kind of want one.
Photo Credit: Mercado Libre