Cars & Coffee events give the guy with the GLHS a chance to hang with Gallardos in a judgment free zone, but someone is deserving of judgment: the assclown in the Viper trying to ruin it for all of us.

This tirade's focused less on the individual jerkoff in the Viper from this weekend's Houston Cars & Coffee who wiped out on the frontage road above, and more on the type of car owner he represents. And I say "he" because I know who this individual is. I'd personally shame him, but then some other moron wouldn't realize he's also an assclown, or at least an assclown in the making.

Coffee & Cars, Cars & Coffee, Latte & Lambos... whatever you call it, these little weekend shows are constantly at risk of being shut down. They require huge amounts of open space and a host willing to allow their parking lot to be overrun for a few hours.

The Houston Coffee & Cars was previously hosted at one shopping center. A bunch of guys decided to mash the go-pedal too hard on the way out, one couldn't control his 'Vette, and nearly took out a row of people.

Bad Drivers Are Killing Cars & Coffee

The next month's event was canceled because the people running the shopping center were no longer open to the show, quite possibly because of this well-publicized event. This month, Cars & Coffee found a new home at a large outdoor entertainment center. It's the perfect space and it was a delight seeing a row of slammed Subarus next to a perfectly maintained Ford "Woodie" Station Wagon.

The harmonious gathering's everything that's right about cars. It's autopluralism at its best. It's a celebration of the automobile. All automobiles. It's a chance to show our children why we care.

It's not about you, the egocentric prick in the car you can't drive who wants to show off what you've got, not what you built, not what you care about. What you can afford. Pride is great, but you're just vain.

So bring your car out. Show it off. Answer questions. Don't get mad when a kid gets his hand on your "real carbon fiber" spoiler. Try to enjoy the atmosphere without being the one to ruin it.