Toyota's decided to advertise the new beige Toyota Highlander SUV by getting some punk-ass kid to bash the Buick Roadmaster wagon. I hate this kid.

Studies show young people are less excited about cars. Perhaps it's because of the cars they're given.

A Buick Roadmaster is, and will always will be, cooler than a beige Highlander. FACT: it's RWD. FACT: wood paneling. FACT: Looks awesome. FACT: Corvette LT1 V8 Power. FACT: It's not a Toyota.

This kid, apparently named Riley Stewart (seriously, Riley?), has it all wrong. The other youth in the video isn't jumping into the car because he's afraid people will see him. He's jumping into the car because he's AWESOME.

The Roadmaster wasn't built by people who know that a high beltline and low greenhouse tricks people into thinking they're safe. It was built by people who know that you look cool jumping into cars.

Riley ends the vehicle saying "Just because you're a parent, doesn't mean you have to be lame." Well, little Riley, just because you're a Toyota owner doesn't mean you have to be an asshole.

(Hat tip to JaredGlentz!)