Sometimes life isn't fair. Celebrities can afford to buy beautiful new Maseratis and Range Rovers. And what do they do? This year, they seem to be having a lot of problems with mountains.
Celebrity: Junior Seau
Car: Cadillac Escalade
What The Heck Happened: Apparently Junior Seau was driving angry. (He probably does everything angry.) After an argument with his girlfriend, and subsequent arrest, he drove off a mountain in Carlsbad, California.
The Excuse: Asleep at the wheel.
Celebrity: Mel Gibson
Car: Maserati Quattroporte
What The Heck Happened: Turned right and drove into the side of a mountain. It's been a tough year for Mel and cars.
The Excuse: He actually said, "I don't know." Good enough.
Celebrity: Kim Kardashian
Car: Bentley Continental GT
What The Heck Happened: She hit the ground. Literally. Speeding through a parking lot she knocked the front end off the Bentley's custom body kit.
The Excuse: Too good looking to care.
Celebrity: January Jones
Car: Range Rover
What The Heck Happened: We don't really know. This summer our favorite mad women lost control of her Range Rover, plowed into several other cars and fled the scene.
The Excuse: Was she drinking? No, Officer. She said she was fleeing the paparazzi. It works for January Jones. It doesn't work for you.
Celebrity: George Michael
Car: Range Rover
What The Heck Happened: The more famous half of the band Wham ran into a store. Literally.
The Excuse: Drugs. Maybe drinking, too. He checked into rehab immediately after.
Celebrity: The Situation
Car: Mustang Convertible
What The Heck Happened: He backed up, got the bumper caught on a truck's lift gate and when he pulled away the rear bumper was torn off. That's how they drive down at the shore.
The Excuse: It's only a rental.
Celebrity: Tom Brady
Car: Audi S8
What The Heck Happened: T-Boned a Mercury Villager that ran a red light.
The Excuse: Just a forgettable accident that won't affect his performance on the field. Sorry Jets fans.
Celebrity: Ashton Kutcher
Car: Lexus LS Hybrid
What The Heck Happened: Kutcher had a fender bender with a normal mortal in a Honda Civic. What is Ashton Kutcher doing hanging around mortals?
The Excuse: "Had a fender bender," via Twitter, of course.