For $17.00, Prepare To Get Grabbed

Indecisive home invader, Goldilocks always settled on the middle choice, after having befouled the other two. Today's Nice Price or Crack Pipe Maverick sits in that median, between Pinto and Mustang, but for Goldi, this one may be too hot.

Today's candidate sports Ford's tried and true small block in its most ubiquitous displacement, 302 cubic inches. In an odd coincidence, so did yesterday's, although that freak show Samurai had its Blue Oval V8 shoved into it by unknown means, while today's car had its bolted in place by the UAW. Questionable origins did not quell the fire in the loins of the 61.75% of you that voted Nice Price for that Suzuki, also known as the Merciless Pepper of Quetzalacatenango of NPOCP contenders, and we would appreciate it if you left us your next of kin should you choose to actually pursue that Suzuki.

We'll see if today's 302 fairs as well as the beach defiler. It potentially could because unlike the Suzuki strangler, this V8 hasn't been dropped behind enemy lines. Instead it powers the Joey Gladstone of ‘70s Ford's Full House. Sure the Mustang's Jesse Katsopolis was sexier, and the Pinto's Danny Tanner successfully hid his addiction to coke and hookers from everybody, but Jesse the middle dad was so innocuous that he had to use a puppet to have a learning moment with the creepy twins from the Shining, smoking hot DJ, or the nearly invisible and future Meth-Head middle daughter Stephanie.

For $17.00, Prepare To Get Grabbed

Well, Stephanie cleaned up her act and bought herself a pair of brand new giant boobs, and this 1970 Maverick GT middle child has also benefited from a makeover. As noted, while the Mustang was the pony with the money, the Maverick was an equine for the main line, sharing its platform with the precedent Comet, as well as with Columbus' little known fourth ship- the Santa Mavericka, it's just that old. Continuing the grab bag parts sourcing, it rocks a set of tail lights also found on the Pinto, and, in this car's case, an attitude that could be found on any mulleted cracker sucking down a dive bar Bud.

For $17.00, Prepare To Get Grabbed

What's interesting about this Maverick, aside from the fact that it isn't a cube sitting in a corner of the wrecking yard, is the level of care that has obviously been afforded it. Underhood is the aforementioned 302 thin-wall V8, that the seller claims makes a healthy 340 Horse power. Backing that up is a T5 stick and there's discs at each corner (Versailles rear axle?) and some pretty big meats to make the go and slow a little more efficacious. In between there's snooded lake pipes like on a first-gen Viper, and a Grabber hood with canted scoops like a WWII fighter's 50-cals. Black accents on the hood, flanks and semi-Kamm rear end set off the atomic dog peen color and big-ass wheels (20s front ad rear) fill the arches like nobody's business.

For $17.00, Prepare To Get Grabbed

Pull up in this time warp ride and people would naturally ask you when Foghat's next album will be out. And while that might be a pain in the neck, the electrically-actuated seats from a 350Z won't be. They're black and leather, and go with the rest of the '70s noir interior like peyote and pineapple, but at least the 8x12 pine boards that Ford originally put in there have gone the way of Elvis.

All that brings us around to the price, which is apparently driven by the amount of money the seller has invested in the car, a princely sum he claims to be $21.00. As a buck over a Jackson may seem steep for a Maverick, he's willing to eat the loss, letting the car go for a more reasonable $17.00.

Okay, so the seller may not have a firm grasp on the decimal system, but that's no reason to deny yourself this clean and, through attrition, rare red rocket. There's just not many of these cars around any more, and this one, despite some questionable mods, has a lot of the right stuff in the right places, and a plus to many FoMoCO fans is that it's not a Mustang. But let's get real here, and move the decimal place over wher you know the seller would have dropped it if his mullet wasn't weighting down his head - $17,000. Now how do you feel about it? Would three shy of twenty grand still make you think this is wortn parking in the driveway of your little pink house? Or, once you do the math, does this Maverick still remain too mainstream?

You decide!


San Francisco Bay Area Craigslist or go here if the ad disappears. H/T to FriscoFairlane for the hookup!

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