The first-ever North Dallas Hooptie 24 Hours of LeMons is happening at Eagle's Canyon Raceway this weekend, and the cheater-bustin', baksheesh-acceptin' LeMons Supreme Court— featuring a couple of substitute judges— was in full Texas-style effect.
Due to circumstances I'll explain later, the usual lovably-corruptible LeMons Supreme Court team of Judge Murilee and Judge Jonny couldn't make it to lovely Decatur, Texas this weekend. Don't worry about any fairness creeping into the system, however, because our substitutes were carefully chosen for capriciousness, far-from-blind justice, and Texan cruelty.
You veterans of the Houston LeMons events will recognize Judge Scott, shown here leading a couple of bad-driving Neon teams on a diapers-and-shame Segway Parade last fall. He's the sadist who invented the Habitat For Dogmanity, and we're sure he'll draw on his Marine Corps experience to come up with new ways of making miscreant drivers drop (ideally, into the mud with full pack and rifle) and give him... infinity.
But Scott's the nice judge! Having dealt with Anna aka The Bikini Racer as a team member at numerous LeMons events, the LeMons Supreme Court has always felt that she'd be a helluva
brutal fair judge... and now that day has arrived! Sure, she can drive that Supra down the quarter-mile in 10 seconds, and she gets all the boys a-snortin' and a-pawin' the dirt, but it's her mean streak that makes her LeMons Supreme Court material!
If you don't want to get sweated relentlessly over those "junkyard Bilsteins" during your team's BS inspection, we recommend that you do this to your MR2.
Here's our first 419ers-themed car. Please in the name of God wire money to Lagos!
Real Texans love Mustangs and hate Miatas, so this team has modified their Mazda in the appropriate fashion.
Of course there's a BP-themed car! Speaking of E30s, this is the first LeMons race in history in which Taurus SHOs outnumber E30s (five E30s, six SHOs). And while we're on the subject of SHOs, the first-ever Yamaha-engined SHO-Stang makes its debut Saturday morning; we'll try to get Assistant Perp Nick Pon to send us some photos of this no-doubt-extremely-reliable race car as soon as possible.
I'll do my best to do a leader post Saturday night, but Nick might be too swamped to get me the shots until the race is over. We'll see what happens.