LeMons Judges Believe In Honest, Out-Front Bribery, Not The Shameful Furtive Kind

So we're just now wrapping up a long day of determining which teams have blown past the $500 limit and which have blown past the limit with a good story. There's a Saab 9000 waiting for judgment and then we're done. We were a little softer on the racers than we've been in past events, with 77- and 50-lap penalties (given to a shaky-story dirt-track GM G-body and a "found in back yard" ex-race-car Supra, respectively) being the heaviest. The bribes were flowing pretty well, especially after we started painting a "BRIBED" symbol on the cars belonging to teams smart enough to purchase a little justice. Crown Royal whiskey, Patron tequila, Slim Jims, beer, the opportunity to leer at a comely bikini-clad Camaro racer, cash, and- perhaps best of all- steaks and shrimp cocktails from a mullet-clad Mustang team that rolled the grill right up to the BS Inspection area. Make the jump for the whole gallery, and come back tomorrow for more racin' action. Yeehaw!

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