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Nov 11, 2009 05:00 PM
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Detroit, 2:30 AM
Wed Feb 10
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Gabriele Falloppio is largely credited with inventing the condom after conduction clinical trials using 1,100 men in the 1500s. After the "trials," none of the men that used his crude linen sleeve contracted syphilis (we're really hoping he didn't fool 1,100 men into have sex with a chick who had syphilis). Thus, the condom was born. In the modern era, latex has become preferred to linen, largely because it's not full of holes and is therefore 99% effective in preventing pregnancy. Essentially, we have Gabriele Falloppio to thank for our ability to have lots of sex with hot girls, yet still have money to spend on our cars.
Elhigh was there in today Poopsplosion article to remind us of another reason it's good to practice safe sex:
I have a kid who, while very young, developed a very regular #2 habit: Wednesday evenings. Nursed babies don't mess quite so much as bottlefed, though there are the usual number of wet diapers to deal with. But the narstier ones, not so much. Thus, the once-a-week schedule. And it was fantastic. Nothing can top having a kid who you know will not utterly ruin your trip to the park with a Superfund site in his britches.
Until he skipped a Wednesday. Then he'd gone over ten days. Then we're closing in on two weeks He's starting to get uncharacteristically cranky and fussy. We knuckle under and call Ask-A-Nurse. She says give the kid some castor oil and everything should be fine, some babies just get a little anal retentive - literally. She's never actually seen a once-a-week kid but doesn't think it's totally out of the realm of possibility, and other long-interval kids sometimes get this retention thing going, so do the castor oil and see what happens.
We did the castor oil.
About an hour later there was this...sound. And the kid's face suddenly got really horrified and relieved and inside the diaper was Mt. Vepoopius, a mountain of poo like you've never seen unless you own a Saint Bernard. We changed him on a big sheet of newspaper opened up, and some still got away. We blamed that spot on the cat, but we knew. So did the cat.
What's this got to do with cars? Not a damn thing.
Au contraire monsieur Elhigh, it has everything to do with cars. By leaving the duty of furthering the human race to other people, us car enthusiasts have more money to spend on going fast. Thanks for the reminder.
Send an email to Wes Siler, the author of this post, at wes@jalopnik.com.
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