When you're trying to unload a basket-case Peugeot 504 Familiale or a terrifyingly incomplete Renault Juvaquatre on eBay, what's your best approach? That's right, female flesh and plenty of it!

That method worked wonders on the saleability of this Morris Minor Hell Project, and now we're seeing the cheesecake approach taken to new heights with the most decrepit awesome collection of Hell Projects we've ever seen offered by a single eBay seller. Looking for a '63 Ford Zodiac? Perhaps a '49 Salmson S461 is more your speed, or a '54 Austin A30. Whatever sort of obscure French, German, or British machine you might be seeking, German eBay seller Goldies-Boutique probably has what you need. The model, who may or may not be "Goldie," shows off an assortment of costumes while posing in a all the standard car-parts-calendar-style poses; we especially like the fetching grease smears on her face in the "Verdammt Citroën won't start!" shot. Now, there's always the danger that Max Mosley took one look at this tall, busty German woman posing in front of a '48 Panhard Dyna in a skimpy cop outfit and immediately bought all 23 Hell Projects… but you never know, you know?
[eBay Germany], thanks to Manic King Of Corinthia for the tip!

Send an email to Murilee Martin, the author of this post, at murilee@jalopnik.com.