As much as we move forward, as many times as we replace the leaders in our government, many things stay the same. A red light still means stop. A yellow banana is still delicious. A green apple is still far superior to other apples when mixed with poultry or pork. Why is this? Some would say it's about tradition. Some would say there are fundamental laws of the universe. Some would blame the Erinyes. In Greek mythology, these female deities were there to prevent those who wanted to overthrow the established order. Decide it would be cool to mate a snake with a hamster or serve breakfast after 11:00 am and they'd find a way to punish or stop you. According to DoctorNine, Dallasites parking in wet cement may be a tradition enforced by the full weight of mythological entities.

And no matter how hard she flailed, and kicked at the rock with her scuffed designer heels, the car wouldn't budge. It is irrefutable evidence that, although Justice is blind, and The Fates are forbidden to reveal to us the final design in the fabric of our lives, The Erinyes may rise up from spilled blood, wasted wreckage, or in this case wet concrete, to take vengence well deserved, upon those who mock the righteous, or who up-end the natural order of existence.

Let this be a lesson to all who would use peroxide, and purchase near-luxury automobiles.