Jumpin' Jehosephat, do we love it when parents who aren't necessarily car enthusiasts write about cars! Ku, ku, ku, ku... Follow along as we get all young, loud and snotty on the staff & readers of Parents magazine as they attempt to name the top fifteen vehicles for now families.
Chrysler Town & Country
They say: "Actually cool!"
We say: "Nah, brah."
They say: "Numerous storage nooks!"
We say: "Nook-cam?"
They say: "Nifty storage component!"
We say: "Swell!"
They say: "A remote control that lets you open the car windows from your porch so you can air out the car on hot days!"
We say: "Or let the rain in on wet ones!"
They say: "Trunk holds two strollers and then some!"
We say: "Fuck tha trunk, yo! What about the Hemi?"
They say: "Grocery-bag hooks!"
We say: "HI DAVE! WANT A HAMBURGER?"
They say: "Though it's rugged enough to take off road, the Equinox is as comfy as a minivan inside!"
We say: "And you'd look like less of a dork in a minivan."
They say: "The redesigned Explorer looks like another best-seller — especially since this model has Roll Stability Control!"
We say: "Maybe idiots shouldn'tve bought Explorers in the first place."
They say: "Versatility is this Jeep's strong suit!"
We say: "James May would still hate this thing, even if it is slow"
They say: "Its durable synthetic interior stands up to juice spills and muddy sneakers!"
We say: "Now if only a genuine interior could do that."
They say: "I'd limit it to two kids in the back!"
We say: "When I was a child, we used to cram three 11-year-olds in the boot of a Madza 323 hatchback with my uncle hoonin' it around the narrow roads of Norn Iron. It made us tough, dammit. Kids today are too coddled."
They say: "The hip dashboard will remind kids of their Game Boys!"
We say: "Whoop-de-frickin'-doo."
They say: "The V50 is a great choice for parents who want to transport the family in a bit more style!"
We say: "First y'all say crossovers are the new station wagon, then you put the V50 a wagon at the top of your 'Crossover' list? Been huffin' a bit too much Anbesol lately, have we?"
They say: "A great alternative to a big SUV!"
We say: "Flying vagina!"
They say: "The rear seat reclines, a plus for kids who need to nap!"
We say: "Or for makin' more babies!"
The Best Family Cars for 2006 [Parents]
Forbes' Best Cars of '05