If your first car is fast and expensive. Like, say, a BMW M3, you significantly up the possibility that you might crash and die. Seriously. But, sort of as a public service announcement, Jalopnik readers have come up with these ten cars that are even worse for a new driver.
Welcome back to Answers of the Day — our daily Jalopnik feature where we take the best ten responses from the previous day's Question of the Day and shine it up to show off. It's by you and for you, the Jalopnik readers. Enjoy!
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Photo Credit: Kyle
10.) A lifted truck
Suggested By: Bakkster_Man
Why it's a bad idea: First-time car owners are not the most experienced behind the wheel. Every curvy road is a racetrack and every parking lot is an obstacle course. A lifted truck is not only going to flip and roll in any hard cornering, but it'd be easier to park a Nimitz-class aircraft carrier at Safeway than a tall-boy bromobile like one of these.
Photo Credit: i am dabe
9.) A 1970s land yacht
Suggested By: Raevoxx
Why it's a bad idea: A barge from the Great Brougham Epoch of the 1970s looks like a good first car - low gas mileage, low power, and big bumpers. The problem is that they're just so big and heavy. The inevitable crash (what with the tire-squealing handling and microscopic drum brakes) will be catastrophic for anything that gets hit. If the driver hits a house, the building is going to crumble, not the car.
Photo Credit: Shawn Hoke
8.) A Nissan 300ZX
Suggested By: Litrecola
Why it's a bad idea: A ‘90s-tastic twin-turbo Z is not outside of the price range of many first car buyers, and that seems like a good thing. Plenty of performance potential, a cool look that's (usually) not douchey, it's all there. Putting someone who is fundamentally still learning how to drive behind the wheel of something this fast, though, is just a recipe for disaster.
Photo Credit: Greg Myers
7.) A vintage muscle car
Suggested By: DasWauto
Why it's a bad idea: There are two exceptions to this rule: if the car is a beater, that's fine. If the owner builds up the car themselves, great. If anything, hot-rodding some old Fairlane 500 is a service to society. But if a new driver starts out with some big-block Chevelle or Shelby ‘Stang, not only is it going to end up spinning its wheels right off the road, it's going to be a travesty seeing such gorgeous, classic iron getting trashed.
Photo Credit: Jerry Edmundson
6.) A Subaru WRX
Suggested By: rawtoast
Why it's a bad idea: A first-time car owner might be able to convince themselves that they need something with good power and all-wheel-drive for the winter and get a WRX. This is a mistake. It's not as fast as an STi, but it's not that far off. This driver will have their car wrapped around a streetlamp during a parking lot dorifto grand prix, or bent around a tree like a wannabe-Ken Block in no time.
Photo Credit: Jacob T. Meltzer
5.) Mazdaspeed3
Suggested By: veeeedub in da haus Group J's Aquatic Avian
Why it's a bad idea: Here's the problem with a performance variant of a regular car: for a new driver, all cars are the high-power model. When hormones are raging, even a Rabbit diesel becomes a GTI. Anything with real speed potential, like the 263-horsepower Mazda, is just going to understeer right off the road. It wouldn't be the first time.
Photo Credit: Eric Hacke
4.) McLaren-Mercedes SLR
Suggested By: RXEight
Why it's a bad idea: A supercar priced into the hundreds of thousands means instant baller status, right? Wrong. Anybody young in a supercar like an SLR gets nothing but jealous looks, and when the inevitable crash comes, the kid is going to have to pay big bucks to keep his name out of the papers.
Photo Credit: Trey Ratcliff
3.) A 911 Turbo
Suggested By: Straightsix 9904
Why it's a bad idea: Any 911 is going to be an awful first car. Even a turd-brown 1970s SC is fast enough to get a kid into trouble, especially when the pendulum rear steps out on a mountain road. The turbo is the worst of all. We could be talking about a widowmaker 930, or a Hollywood-spec 996 Turbo, it doesn't matter. Even if the novice behind the wheel keeps it out of the ditch, they're going to look like a douche behind the wheel of something so expensive.
Photo Credit: Brendan Lim
2.) Any recent Mustang
Suggested By: Fordboy357 doesn't give a harumph!
Why it's a bad idea: It's a hoonmobile. We like hoonmobiles. The problem with new Mustangs — especially V8-engined Mustangs — is that they get you in trouble going 20 or 30 miles an hour faster than if you were trying to get the back end out in something with better handling, like a 240SX. This means that when you crash, it won't be a small write-off, it'll be a trip to the emergency room.
Photo Credit: glenn d.
1.) A BMW X6M
Suggested By: dogisbadob and duurtlang
Why it's a bad idea: The best car for a new driver shouldn't be too fast, it shouldn't be hard to see out of, it shouldn't be too big, too expensive to run, or too expensive to fix when it eventually gets crashed. The exact opposite of all of these attributes is a large SUV.
The most absurdly terrible SUV for a new driver is the bonkers-fast pillbox from Bavaria, the X6M. Any X6 would be terrible for a beginner, but the M-model will be the fastest, priciest, and worst of all.
Photo Credit: Raphael Orlove