David is a traveling salesman with a long commute, but his company is going to foot the bill on his new ride. The catch is that he is very tall and needs something comfortable that won’t exceed is $35,000 price cap. What car should he buy?

Mitch (not pictured) is entering the Navy to become an officer and eventually a pilot. Naturally, he has a need for speed, but also wants something for outdoor adventures for around $25,000. What car should he buy?

Frank is a self-described millennial who has been borrowing his parents’ cars to get around. It’s time for him to get his own ride, but it needs to be affordable, reliable, and different. What car should he buy?

Thomas just moved from France to the Detroit suburbs. He needs to get a cheap car quick but it can’t just be any car, it needs to be an American car, a freedom car! Ideally, he is looking for a V8 but also needs somewhat decent gas mileage. What car should he buy?

Patrick loves cars but has never really needed one. He has gotten by just fine with using his bike. Now he has a new job and a longer commute through the DC traffic hellscape. If he wants to survive he is going to need four wheels and doors. What car should he buy?

Dean is trying to help a 79-year-old mother out. She’s a cool lady who was rocking a 1994 Nissan 300ZX until disaster struck. Dean wants to find her a cool car that still has style and speed, but is maybe a little easier to manage. What car should she buy?

Jeff has a current generation BMW M3, and as a new homeowner, it’s not super practical for him. He wants something that is more capable in bad weather. He likes luxury cars, what he doesn’t like is getting hosed in depreciation costs. What car should he buy?

Sam has a 2005 Mini Cooper S, which is a fine little car, but not quite practical for a growing family. He wants something sporty, fun, and practical and has a pretty healthy budget to accomplish this task. What car should he buy?

Kevin won a bet with his wife, and while the details of the wager are a mystery, the important part is that he is now going to spend some $200,000 to $300,000 on a seriously fast car. But he’s not sure which direction to go. What car should he buy?

Matt had one of the coolest Jalop cars ever made, a Cadillac CTS-V wagon. Sadly someone stole it and chopped it up for parts. So now Matt has a decision to make as to what to do next and he needs our help. What car should he buy?

While some college students don’t need a car on campus, Imani goes to a school that is pretty isolated, and she needs a car to help her get around and help her enjoy some other activities. What car should she buy?

Alex is the long-suffering Executive Managing Editor of the whole Gizmodo Media Group, which means he endures Jalopnik’s constant emotional abuse. As the saying goes, shit flows upwards, and everyone knows we’re full of it. He who has come to the inevitable conclusion that New York is trash if you actually want to…

Robert has a 14-year-old Volkswagen Passat with a lot of miles and not a lot of life left in it. His family refuses to ride in his car that probably should have been sent to the junkyard years ago, so it’s time for a replacement that’s safe but not lame. What car should he buy?

Kyle’s E36 BMW M3 is doing what most German cars of that vintage do: rapidly fall apart and print repair bills. He’s ready to move on to something that can get him up the mountain for ski patrol duty. What car should he buy?

Jonathan moved from New York City to Los Angeles a few years ago and bought a 1998 Camry for $1,000. It was a smart and responsible move, but the old Toyota is showing its age it’s time for something new and fun. What car should he buy?

Jason is looking for what he calls a mid-life crisis car to supplement his Jeep Cherokee. The challenge is that it has to be something fun to drive for someone that only has use of their left arm. What car should he buy?

Andrea owned and loved one of the most polarizing cars ever made, the Pontiac Aztek. She ran that car to 350,000 miles and had to part with it. Now she is on the hunt for something with the same kind of “charm.” What car should she buy?

Megan is a full-time college student in Oregon who needs a new ride. All the rational people want her to get a Honda or Toyota, but she wants something quirky and different. What car should she buy?

Luke drives a 2016 Mercedes S550, a car that is both fast and luxurious, but like any person with drive and ambition he wants more. I can’t say I blame him, especially since he has a healthy budget to replace it. What car should he buy?

Nate is only 18 years old and is already living the #drivefreeordie life with a Land Rover and a Saab in various states of disrepair. It’s time to cut some losses on those cars and get something else that will actually work. What car should he buy?