LM7 RX7 Pops an ALL CAPS in Your Ass for $7,500!

Nice Price Or Crack PipeIs this used car a good deal? You decide!

Some have accused the second generation RX7 of being the softest of the breed. Of course, a monster V8, like today's Nice Price or Crack Pipe candidate has, can make it much harder. And, it might make you hard too.

To the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies Theme:

Come and listen to a story about a man named Clint 

Who tried to sell a Buick, and thought he'd make a mint

But then his ad showed up on the old Jalopnik

And his spelling and grammar made everybody sick



All-caps, that is, typing bold, grade three.

Well the next thing you know ol' Clint's got some frustration, 

Kinfolk said "Clint, you need to get some education" 

Said "You'll never sell that Reatta spelling rare like that"

But it was too late, he had 58% Crack.


Pipe, that is. Drugged-out fools, shitty cars.

Well now its time to say goodbye to Clint and all his kin.

He's sure awful sorry about his lousy spellin'

But if you've got some trucks and bikes you'd like to trade

He's still got that Buick that smells like lemonade.


Y'all come back now, y'hear?

There you go, now you'll have that theme bouncing around in your heads all day. You're welcome.


If you thought that yesterday's ALL CAPS Craigslist ad was an anomaly, hold onto your sideways-facing caps, hipsters. Today we have a 1987 Mazda RX7 Turbo II up for grabs. And its ad is the all-cappiest. The seller also provides a lot more description, and that's good because this RX7 has been under the knife, and has some splainin' to do.

The turbocharged 13B in the RX7 pumped 202-bhp out of its 1.3-litres of Wankel displacement. That's pretty good, and was able to move the 2,650 lb car with reasonable alacrity. Not that reasonable is a bad thing, but sometimes being unreasonable can be full of win. And while it's not unreasonable to drop a honkin'-big V8 under the hood of a Japanese sports car, it's reasonable to assume that's usually an LS out of a Vette or Camaro. In this case, the 5.3-litre, iron block v8 is out of a 2002 Chevy Silverado - a pick-em-up truck. Now, the seller notes (in ALL CAPS) this he has gotten all LS1 on that engine's ass with an intake, fuel system, pan and other bits so this could conceivably be an L-S&M-7. That would mean of course the car should wear a nose bra with studs.


Now, unreasonable as it may seem, going from turbo rotary to torque monster V8 can have side effects other than just twisted halfshafts. The RX7 Turbo II came with specific decals noting that there was a turbo engine under the sloping be-scooped hood, and in a face-palm moment, the builder of this car must have realized that truth in advertising laws might apply to such decals, hence he turbo'd the LM7. The Garrett T70 is one of their bigger snails, and this one sends its pressurized charge through an air to air intercooler. Mated to the former truck engine is a T56 from a Camaro that's been recently re-cogged and is rowed through a B&M Ripper.


There's lots of other good stuff thrown on this car, but the all caps is giving me a headache, so you'll just have to find that out for yourself. The rest of the car has a patina of wear that speaks volumes about where this owner's spending priorities have gone. Overall, the body's pretty straight, and the seller divulges a few dents and missing/not working parts in the ad. Inside, he's gone gauge crazy and the dash is suffering through a herpes outbreak, but that's nothing some Valtrex® or just ignoring it won't fix.


So far so good, but now we get to what might be a deal killer. Despite the fact that early on the seller claims the car to be smogged and registered, at the end of the ad ( yes, I read it all, and now I need to go lie down) he notes that it's currently not registered, nor is it registrable in the great state of California due to the lack of emissions equipment. He does note, and I quote: YOU CAN BUY THE STUFF TO MAKE IT SMOG LEGAL THOUGH. Um, yeah. Sure you could. Seriously, this car has probably gone too far down the rabbit hole to be made legal in any state requiring a visual inspection. Taking the car to Smog Pros and asking them to probe it in its current condition would be like bringing your porn-star girlfriend over to meet your parents and then having her give you a rim job on your mom's kitchen table. It could only end in tears, probably yours.


Okay, so let's say you've got an angle on the whole smog and registration business and don't consider that an insurmountable issue, what would it cost to plant your ass in its driver's seat? Well, All Caps is asking $7,500 for this LM7-powered RX7, and you know that much more than that has been poured into it.


But the question is never what was spent, but what's it now worth, and it's time for you to decide if this beast is worth the burden of $7,500. Would that price make this a homebrew worth sampling? Or, is that way too much to gamble for a car you might only ever be able to rev in your own driveway?

You decide!


Los Angeles Craigslist or go here if the ad disappears. Hat tip to Hotballs! Ha, that never gets old!

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