Get Snake-Bit for $22,995!

Illustration for article titled Get Snake-Bit for $22,995!
Nice Price Or No DiceIs this used car a good deal? You decide!

There once was an english white viper, that wasn't going to get any riper. Nice Price or Crack Pipe wonders if you should pluck it, or instead should you just walk away and say. . .

Okay, let's all get together here and have a group hug over the '86 Eagle from yesterday. Rarely comes along a car, at such a price, that generates such unanimity among the Nice Pricians and Crack Piperarians, but this was such a car. Perhaps it was the surprise at seeing so nice an example of a piece of American automotive history at such a low price. Or, maybe it was just the warm glow the thought of a four-wheeling granny elicits in us all. Whatever the reason, grandma's Eagle received a nearly unprecedented 87% Nice Price vote. For the other 13% of you, you're still welcome here, but don't expect to get the first batch of Maw-maw's cookies- the special ingredient of which is love.


That Eagle was an AMC product with a transmission sourced from Chrysler, and was as comforting as an old sweater. Today, we've got a Mopar product with a transmission built by Tremec, and that is as comforting as an out of control freight train overrun with nut-sac chewing rabid chipmunks and with you, tied naked to the nose.

The Dodge Viper debuted as a limited-production car - and mind-blowing example of what Chrysler was capable of when somebody slips "E" in the drinking water - in 1992, five years after rocking the Motor City Auto Show as a concept. Powered by a Lamborghini-cast aluminum version of the then-new 490-cid pushrod V10 from the Ram pickup, the 400-bhp and 465 lb-ft of titty twist would provide eyeball-squeezing performance, and fuel economy only an OPEC minister could love. The acceleration of the Viper was so brutal that flabby men rocking the car would have their torsos re-shaped by the force - man-boobs flattened, beer bellies squeezed into six packs - exciting their 30-year younger female passengers until the next stop light when everything would return to its natural state of Dick Cheneyness.

Illustration for article titled Get Snake-Bit for $22,995!

Here's a '96 RT/10, the condition of which is, like all aspects of the Viper, a little rough. For that aura of hard use and patina of I'm not gonna' bother to blow all the dust out from under the hood, the car comes with an aggressive, Buy It Now of only $22,995. As the picture show some wear and tear that you might expect with an odometer rolling six, it's surprising that the seller claims only 50K on the clock. That's until you remember the stories of owners complaints about the build quality of the first generation Vipers. But it's not that bad, and a torn side bolster on the driver's seat isn't going to impede your tire-melting, full-throttle runs from gas station to gas station. And who wouldn't drop 23 large just for the RE DQLUS license plate?

Illustration for article titled Get Snake-Bit for $22,995!

So, check it out and and let's get down to bee's wax. It's a Viper; it's white with blue stripes, which isn't wood-causing, but could be worse; it's claimed to be rough but running, so barring any major mechanical issues, the Lambo-originated engine should be solid; and it costs less than your average V6 Camry. Now, comparing a used Viper to a new Camry is kind of stupid, I realize, but it's a handy point of reference, sort of like using Megan Fox to describe how attractive other women are- there's no comparison, but at least you get the idea.


But $22,995? What do you think, for that price, is this something you could sink your fangs into? Or, would spending that much mean you'd be taking it in the asp?

You decide!


eBay or go here if the ad disappears.

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Jonathan Harper

I voted nice price because I've got a soft spot for 1st gen-vipers.

But in reality I'd save the money, put it in the E30 M3 Piggy bank. :)