Nice Price Or Crack PipeIs this used car a good deal? You decide!  

Zephyrus is the Greek god of the west wind. Sharing its name with that minor deity, today's Nice Price or Crack Pipe Mercury Zephyr might just put the wind in your sails. That is, if its price doesn't totally blow.

There are a few decisions for which it is difficult to turn back the hands of time. Getting a tattoo, joining Scientology, or cutting off the roof of your unibody car, are such examples. Still, people keep doing these things - nice tramps stamp, by the way - and while seemingly irrevocably be-hacked, yesterday's 1991 Volvo 740 was also applauded for its sensible price, coming in with a 58% Nice Price win.

The Mercury Zephyr took its moniker from the earlier Lincoln Zephyr a pre-war marque intended to expand southward Lincoln's price point reach much as Cadillac had with the LaSalle range. Mercury later served this role and so it was fitting when anointing that marque's edition of then newly minted Fox platform, Ford once again opened the Zephyr window.

This 1980 Zephyr is the Z7 model, meaning that it's the unique coupe that shared its basket-handle greenhouse shape with the Fairmont Futura and the larger and luxury-er Ford Thunderbird. Wanting to be the odd duck of the bunch, Mercury's T-bird clone, the Cougar, maintained a more traditional roofline.


The Z7 Zephyr would be cool enough, what with that roof that also evokes the '55 Crown Vic and its jaunty slant back. Of course we don't do cool enough, we do balls-deep awesome here, and I would wager that the mods on this Zephyr fit that description.

First off, let's get the particulars out of the way. The ad claims that the car has but 12,000 miles on the clock. It's also said - emphatically in all-caps - to be powered by a high performance 302 V8. That's right, five-point-oh, amigos. Mated to that is an Automatic Overdrive METRIC transmission. How do we know this? Well, it's been painted blue with yellow writing announcing that fact.


In fact, this Merc is rife with hidden little visual treats, including some artistic flames under the hood and on the inside of the wheel arches. Each one seems intended to elicit a surprised response, sort of like the discovery that your hot significant other has tattoos on the inside of her lip and under-boob.

The bodywork is likewise been customized, featuring two-tone paint, rocker extensions, a rear spolier, and a hood scoop that's the equivalent of a backward-facing cap. Perhaps surprisingly the faux side vents are not custom, but instead fully factory. Wheels are blacked-out basketweaves and those are mounted with some meaty-beaty-big-and-bouncy BFGs.


The interior is more or less stock, although I don't think the Z-7 emblazoned headrests on the high-back buckets are. This generation of Ford had what is arguably the cheapest and most tenuously assembled interiors in history. How tenuous? North Korean leader sanity tenuous.

This one seems to have made the most with what it had to work with, and while it's plasticky as hell, at least it's all there. Except for the A/C that is. Who remembers that Ford once made heater controls with so few settings?


If you think someone should set their sights on buying this magnificent beast then it's probably a good idea to discuss the price. The seller is asking $6,000 for this claimed one-of-one custom, and you now need to help him by averring whether you think he ought to also customize its price tag.

What do you think about this custom Zephyr for that kind of cash? Does that price make this west wind a go? Or, does that make it the worst wind?

You decide!


Cleveland Craigslist, or go here if the ad disappears.

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