For $26,000, Go On Tour

Nice Price Or Crack PipeIs this used car a good deal? You decide!

BMW never offered a wagon edition of the E34 M5 - or its 3.8 engine for that matter - in the USA. That hasn't stopped enterprising individuals from rectifying that situation, and today’s Nice Price or Crack Pipe ’93 is just such a result.

Let’s play word association, okay? I say Geo and you say. . . . Whoa! You kiss your mama with that mouth? Okay, so there’s not a lot of love for GM’s old if-you-can’t-beat-‘em, join-‘em brand, but at least there was some like expressed toward yesterday’s custom 1996 Geo Metro Cute Ute. That wasn’t enough however to overcome its price, which at a Benjamin-shy of seven grand earned it an overwhelming 86% Crack Pipe loss.


Okay, we’re done fooling around here, it’s Friday, there’s a long weekend coming up and I’m not wearing any pants.

There are certain elements which a car may possess that resonate with us all- manual transmissions, powerful engines, fancy-pants names, and longroof station wagons being prime among those. Any one of those can get an approving nod from the collective Jalopnitariate, but roll them all up in one massive spliff and it has the potential for a collective cargasm of biblical proportions.

Today’s 1993 E34 Touring is just such a blunt. The E34 M5 represents the last of the M5 models to be hand-assembled at the company’s Motorsport factory in Garching, just outside of Munich. The ‘89 - ‘95 M5s were offered in two distinct models, as well as a pair of bodystyles.


The early cars were offered with a 3.6-litre edition of the rock-em, sock-em robot S38 B36, and exclusively in the sedan body. In late 1991 however the M5 gained the S38 B38, which, befitting its name, offered an additional 200-ccs of displacement. At the same time BMW began to offer the M5 package on the E34 Touring (wagon) model.


Needless to say, America never saw either the 3.8 engine or the longroof bodystyle at any point in time during the E34 M5’s model run here. That’s where today’s grey market S38 B38-powered longroof comes in. Sporting 157,000 miles on the chassis, this 1993 Touring has been been spec’d out to be as close to the never sold here Euro edition as possible, while still being a good US citizen.


It also offers some of the add-ons that BMW owners seem to invariably add. . . you know, on. That means things such as Dinan suspension upgrades, Hella smiley lights, and a an aftermarket chip for engine management. The seller claims that bumps power up to the 350+ range, which should prove entertaining to say the least.

A manual gearbox - the ad doesn’t say whether 5- or 6-speed, although the pics indicate it's the former - backs up the big six, and the whole shebang is claimed to be cat-equipped and fully compliant with California’s strictest in the nation emissions requirements. Boo-yah!


Aesthetically, you couldn’t ask for much more to make this Bimmer look right. M5 badging proudly declares its intent front and rear, while new black paint over Shadowline trim, M undercar extensions, and a clean set of 7-series Parallels give it an almost factory appearance. Even the hood has been switched out to the later wider kidney edition which BMW used to differentiate the upscale E34s form their lesser engined brethren. It’s only missing the Motorsport embossed door handles for ultimate deception.


On the inside, you get a nice set of BMW sport seats in black leather, a tri-color stitched five spoke tiller and what the ad says is twelve hundred in new alcantara headliner surrounding the car’s massive roof d’ moon. Everything looks tidy and might even make you long for the days when BMW interiors weren’t saddled with more swoops and curves than a Kardashian family reunion.

Being one of only 800 or so built, and a car that BMW Never saw fit to import themselves there's got to be some significant value to the car outside of it being a smoking hot wagon. Speaking of which, the seller is asking $26,000 for this amazing beast. Let’s get on with the vote, after all some of us have a 3-day weekend to get started.


What’s your take on $26,000 for this M5 Touring that still seems really well done? Is that a great price for a grand Touring? Or, does that make this Bimmer and bummer?

You decide!


Orange County Craigslist, or go here if the ad disappears.

H/T to everyone who submitted this, you know who you are.

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