Nice Price Or Crack PipeIs this used car a good deal? You decide!  

Some car companies build a reputation over time, while others create their mystique one model at a time. Today's Nice Price or Crack Pipe Audi V8 Quattro leapfrogged the German brand into über sedan territory, but is its price, reputable?

Considering how many times Germany has invaded France (seriously, Henri, change the locks) you'd think some of their culture would have rubbed off, and you might hope to see that rubbing reflected in France's automobiles. Sadly not, they are all still as softly Gallic as ever, and in return, 55% of you showed a lot of Gaul in voting yesterday's 1982 Peugeot 504 Diesel wagon a Nice Price win. Mon Dieu!

Meanwhile, around the same time that Pug was farting up France, back in Germany plots were hatched to overthrow the world create a super Audi. The 100 (or unfairly maligned 5000 in the U.S.) had been offered with a number of engines over its existence, however none of those packed more than five rounds. The 200 attempted to address perceptions of competitive performance inequities with a turbo version of the inline five cylinder and more tail lights, but Audi still got its lunch money jacked by the V8-ier BMW and Mercedes toughs.


That all changed in 1988 with the introduction of the Audi V8 Quattro, which married the company's new, all-alloy 32-valve eight cylinder engine with their vaunted all-wheel drive system. Layered on top of all that was every conceivable luxury option known to Ger-man, including leather seats, climate control, a roof you could moon through, and more. The V8 Quattro set the stage for the decedent A8 models, which today represent the fat, Cuban stogies of the Audi model line.

This 1990 V8 Quattro represents from the mid-point of the model's lifespan, and comes with a claimed 100,000 miles on its V8-powered odometer. That eight put out 250-bhp from the factory, and was unique in the method used for spinning the four camshafts which in turn open the 32 intake and exhaust valves. The heads on the two banks of cylinders are asymmetrical - the left bank having being driven by a belt off the crack to the exhaust camshaft, which in turn drives the intake shaft via a rear-located chain. The right bank also has the exhaust driven by belt, but the simplex chain driving the intake shaft is on the front of the head. Most of these 3.6-litre cars were fitted with the ZF 4HP24A 4-speed automatic, and this one could be counted in that number. The Quattro all-the-time all-wheel-drive system uses a center multi-plate clutch pack (manuals received a Torsen diff) to send power to either end as needed.


What kind of person owns an Audi V8 Quattro? Well, why don't we let the current owner set the mood -
You just just saw home alone with that creepy Macauley Caulkin kid in it and you are walking out of the theatre when you hear "I got the Power!!" blaring out of sleek sedan as it rolls by. The car. What the hell is it? It's not black, but a dark charcoal. Tinted windows that say "Quattro" on the back window. Hmm. What the hell does that mean? As it rolls by your hear it growl like a jaguar. Throaty. Pure. The car parks the four doors pop open and four beautiful blonds get out, each one hotter than the next. Hair all teased up in front, long in the back - just the way you like it. Oh my gosh! They're waving! To you! You drop your lemon-lime Slice and go over. As you approach the girl ushers you into the back seat. You can't believe this is happening! As you slide your flannel across the back of the seat you notice how nice the black leather is. Very supple. There's plenty of room on each side of you because, hey, this is THE luxury ride. Without a word you take off. The 3.6L V8 mated to an automatic pushes out somewhere around 250hp you estimate as you quickly approach the top speed of somewhere around 140mph. You are good at math. You can sense all 4 tires gripping the road, yet the ride is so, so choice, as Ferris would say. The music turns from SNAP to "Pump Up The Jams" by Technotronic and you can really hear the 8-speaker sound system with factory amplifier and after market stereo bumping. The red lights of the dash are glowing like fire. The walnut-trim exudes luxury in the dim light. Suddenly you hear a beeping, almost telephone???? Yes! The driver reaches into the center console and pulls out a factory Audi phone!! It's amazing. A phone in a car?! It can't be! But sure thing, next thing you know the power windows are all all closing, the sunroof closes the music dims and the phone rings and rings. And rings. And then you realize it is your phone ringing.You dozed off on the couch dreaming about 1990 again. Relive the dream!!

And there you go, nightmare-inducing Macaulay Caulkin flaccid ashbacks and a mobile phone that could also serve as a bludgeon. Sweet! This particular V8 Quattro shows the scars that prove living large is not a cake walk, although the car's claim of full galvanization should mean that nasty fender blemish won't turn into road herpes any time soon. You might also want to back it in at your local Hooter's parking lot as the back bumper looks like someone has gotten all Freddy Kruger on it. Of course then everyone would see the poo-stained eye of the left brick headlamp. Geez, you might just want to drive it at night. And what's up with the impound pen on the back door glass?


So it needs some bodywork - chicks dig scars - and overall it looks pretty serviceable, plus there's that siren song of the red dash lights - just like in a fighter plane! The question is, should the seller have been a little less creative and a lot more forthcoming in his ad's description of the car? That might shed light on just how much you would REALLY be getting into based on its cost of entry - $2,764. Now, that odd price - which is like the random seeming $381 HOV lane fine in Los Angeles - means you're really getting a lot of bang for your buck, but it's up to you to determine if it really be bangin'.

What do you think, is this creatively presented Audii v8 Quattro worth both reliving the dream and $2,764? Or, for that price, is it the seller who's dreaming?


You decide!

Autotrader or go here if the ad disappears.

H/T to Gaffneyjr for the hookup!

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