The present Government shutdown may have idled a ton of park rangers, but owing to its 5.0 you wouldn't want to do the same with today’s Nice Price or Crack Pipe Ranger. Will its price however prove to be a threatening fiscal cliff?
Considering that over 200,000 people have signed up for a trip to Mars - a one-way trip - it’s no wonder that yesterday’s roll of the death dice for a bargain basement salvage title Viper came away with an amazing 70% Nice Price win.
Neil Young proclaims that it’s far better to burn out, than to fade away - that is of course when he isn’t building marvelously ridiculous electric cars. Going out in a blaze of glory is how many people envision their demise, although most of us will probably go out more quietly than a kitten's fart. Before that happens wouldn’t it be better to burn out in this 5.0-powered Ranger than to let it fade away?
The Lone Ranger rose a white horse, but in this day and age if you really want a ragin’ Ranger you just have to mount a Mustang. Originally named for the plane not the horse, the Ford Mustang has always been known for offering at least one corral full of ponies, and one of the most reliably poweriffic of those is the long-serving 302 V8.
In this red Ranger that engine comes from a 1995 GT and it brought its 4-speed automatic along with it just for kicks - sorry stick shifters. The ad claims 300 horsepower, but doesn’t go into explaining just what makes the extra ones. Stock, the ’95 302 (last year for that engine in the ‘Stang, BTW) pumped out 215-bhp and 285 lb-ft of twist.
Bolting a 5-litre V8 into a Ranger’s engine bay isn’t all that big a deal. In fact, using the wiring harness, ECU, and ancillary bits from a V8 Explorer, it’s almost plug and play. That doesn’t mean that this particular one hasn't been mucked up, but seeing how easy it is to five-point-oh your Ford Ranger, how bad could it be?
If the interior is any indication then the answer is not too bad. It's pretty much stock which in the case of an '89-'92 model (the ad doesn't give a specific year) that means a plasticky but reasonably laid out dash, and seats with all the long term comfort and appeal of a crack house mattress. The center armrest does appear to be inhabited by mice so prospective owners might want to bring some cheese as a peace offering.
Externally. . . well, it's a Ranger. It looks to be in reasonable shape and the fact that it's a standard cab is nice as that seems to be a rarity in today's minitruck marketplace. The fish emblem on the gate is a touch that may either seal the deal should you swing that way, or potentially call out the Westboro Nosy Nates to picket the truck wherever it goes.
Of course the 5.0 should make quick getaways a breeze, and the fact that it has a clean AZ title will make traveling across state lines (except that of California) equally easy. But what about its price?
Well sir, the seller is asking $2,700, and that not only gets you an ass hauler but one that'll also haul a quarter ton of your shit. Considering what deviltry you could do with such a beast as this, what do you think about that price? Is this a Ranger that should not be lone? Or, does that price mean Ranger danger in your book?
H/T to BlueGremlin for the hookup!
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