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For $2,000, this diesel Roadmaster is a real loco-motive

Illustration for article titled For $2,000, this diesel Roadmaster is a real loco-motive
Nice Price Or No DiceIs this used car a good deal? You decide!

Planes, Trains and Automobiles was hands down a great flick. Contrastingly, today's Nice Price or Crack Pipe 6.2 Diesel-converted Roadmaster is kind of plain, sounds like a train, and upon close examination, appears to be an automobile. But is its price all that and a bag of popcorn?


Baby got back - Squareback that is - and along with a non-jaw dropping price made for a lot of likey-likey from the commenters, and a 77% Nice Price win for yesterday's 1966 VW Type 3. That love shown was despite the fact that the Vee-Dubb was old, slow and noisy.


In contrast, today's 1991 Buick Roadmaster is, well, old, slow and noisy. But at least it's ginormous, smelly and uncouth, sort of like John Candy's character in PT&A. Despite what some of you ‘youngin's' might think, the Roadmaster is not an ass-kicking horror film about a deranged lunatic plying deserted highways in search of randy teens to murder in clever and grotesque ways, and who ends up being revealed to have been the undisclosed deformed brother of the highway patrolman who finally takes him down. Or does he?

Illustration for article titled For $2,000, this diesel Roadmaster is a real loco-motive

In fact, Buick decided in 1936 to replace all their model numbers with names, and the 80 became the Roadmaster. Non-celibate teens had nothing to fear from the baroque beasts, and in 1958, the name was put out to pasture. Having not gone too far a field, it was resurrected in 1991 for Buick's B-body wagon. At 218 inches long, and nearly 80 inches wide, it's hard to imagine that the '91 Roadmaster was representational of the down-sized B-bodies from GM. Of course back then the SUV hadn't killed of the station wagon like it was some kind of fornicating teens that had chosen unwisely the location of their booty call.

Illustration for article titled For $2,000, this diesel Roadmaster is a real loco-motive

This one used to have wood on the sides, but at some point that got effed up and so off it came. It also used to be painted white, but like the vinyl trees, that's but a memory. But the biggest change that has happened to this Roadmaster is under the hood, where, instead of Chevy's LO3 5.0 V8, you'll find a Detroit Diesel 6.2. Dah, dah, dahhh.

The current owner and seller of this loco-locomotive didn't undertake the conversion to compression ignition, but does handily provide a link to the longroof forum were the builder details the work involved. It took more than just popping out the gas engine, and dropping in the clackity-clacker, as required were significant modifications to the oil pan, relocation of the ABS pump, and a diesel torque converter for the transmission to account for the change in the power curve.

Illustration for article titled For $2,000, this diesel Roadmaster is a real loco-motive

A four-row radiator, and a bunch of other mods made the diesel not only fit, but run and get pretty good MPGs in the Enterprise Class Buick. And then for some reason it sat for a good long time. The current owner says he picked it up, threw a couple of new batteries in it (yeah, two - this engine runs 22:1 compression) and got it back on the road again. A Christmas miracle didn't occur leaving he and his diesel soot-coated wife stranded, and the edict was issued that the car had to go.

Illustration for article titled For $2,000, this diesel Roadmaster is a real loco-motive

So now here it is offered up on Canada's socialist version of Craig's List - Everybody's List. Actually it's listed on which is a perfect place if you're Canadian to list a used auto, eh? Along with the new batteries, it has springs claimed out of a 442, and a recent, and aggressively-geared 700r4 transmission. It also still rocks the Detroit Diesel smoker and you can marvel at its cold weather starting ability in the seller's YouTube video:

All that clattering will either drive you nuts or make you pine for a resurgence of Trucker's Caps and CB radios. You won't be listening to the radio because only the back speakers work, according to the ad, and you might want to invest in some POR as the fender below the fuel filler has the big C.

Illustration for article titled For $2,000, this diesel Roadmaster is a real loco-motive

Other than that, there's not much to say about it other than it's big enough to live in, and the seller says he gets 30+mpg Canadian, which is like, around 25 U.S., I think. Also, it costs $2,000.


What's your take on two grand for a massively obese smoker that's loud and not the least politically correct - and isn't Rush Limbaugh? Is that a price that should have this rattling in some new owner's driveway right away? Or, would you have to be loco to pay that much for this locomotive?

You decide!

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Allow me to bring back a classic of lore...

Oh, my, god. graverobble, look at her butt. Its so big.


She looks like, one of those rap guys' gang cars.

But, y'know, who understands those rap guys?


They only drive things like her, Because, she looks like a total bad ass, 'kay?

I mean, her butt, is just so big.


I can't believe its just so long, its like, out there, I mean - gross. Look! She's just so ... BIG!

[SIR POL-A-LOT]:....

I like big Buick's

And i can not lie

you other brothers can't deny

That when a Buick drives in

It lacks such taste

and its looks are in your face

you get sprung,

want to pull out your tongue

'cause you notice the butt

was stuffed

Deep in the sheet metal she's wearing

I'm hooked and I can't

stop staring

Oh Roadmaster,

I want to get in ya

and take your picture

My Jalops tried to warn me

but with that butt you got

makes me wanna low your horny

Ooh, Rump-o'-smooth-bends

you say you want to get in my hands?

Well, use me, use me,

'Cause you ain't got average groupy

I've seen that suspension dancin'

The hell with romancin'

She's sweat, wet,

Don't need to be going like a Diesel 'Vette

I'm tired of magazines

Sayin' small butts are the thing

Take the average Jalop man ask him that.

She gotta pack much back

So, fellas! (yeah) Fellas!(yeah!)

yo' wagons and camino's got the butt?

(Hell Yeah!)

Tell 'em to shake it!

(shake it!)

Shake it!

(shake it!)

Shake those handy, fill-able butts!

Buick got back!

Buick got back!

I like 'em square, and big

and pack you up when I'm throwing gig

I just can't help myself, I'm actin' like an animal

Now here's my scandal

I wanna get you home

And ugh, double-up, ugh, ugh

I ain't talkin' bout Civics

'Cause its parts are made for toys

I want 'em real thick and juicy

So bring that juicy bubble

This Jalop's in trouble

Beggin' for a piece of that Buick

'cause that bubble back end is sick

Small trunk econos

Can't touch what she holds

You can have them minivans

I'll keep my wagons like Flo Jo

A word to the thick NPOCP,

I wanna get with ya

I won't let other cars hit ya

But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna

Cruise Till the break of dawn

Baby got it goin' on

A lot of Jalops may not like this song

'Cause them punks like to hit it and quit it

And I'd rather stay and play

'Cause the Buick's long, and I'm strong

And I'm down to turn that Diesel on

So, ladies! {Yeah!}

Ladies! {Yeah}

If you wanna role in my Buick {Yeah!}

Then turn around! Stick it out!

'cause this white boy's got to shout

Buick got back!

Buick got back!