I swear to god if I hear one more person explain how they drove their car faster by double clutching I will tear my ears off.

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I, myself, have been a profound car bullshitter. I remember the first time I ever heard a tuned Subaru drive past me, whistling as it dumped excess boost. I was in middle school and happily exclaimed “oh! the driver is injecting nitrous into the engine so the car doesn’t lose speed as it shifts!”

I don’t know how this idea got into my head, but I certainly hope nobody heard me.

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What’s the most nonsensical explanation you’ve ever heard of how a car works?

Photo Credit: Subaru


Contact the author at raphael@jalopnik.com.