Photo: Fox40/screenshot

Some poor bastard in Sacramento was heading home from college only to find his Ford F-150 in the parking lot wearing an enormous Eucalyptus tree as a hat. Fox 40 News says the aforementioned bastard, named Gerogiy Karpekin, then got a ride back to his house, where he found another woody perennial plant adorning the lid of another one of his cars. This poor guy can’t catch a break.

The TV station reports the pickup met its end in the parking lot of Sacramento City college after high winds toppled a giant tree on top of the F-150; the sight of the carnage is not pretty.

Karpekin then came home to West Sacramento to find another tree on top of a Honda Odyssey and Chrysler Pacifica, one of which also belonged to him; it’s not clear based on the Fox40 story which one was his.

Two cars smashed by two trees in two different cities on the same day? Among bastards, Karpekin may be the poorest. Though the fact that he didn’t die and that his insurance will take care of the damage, may actually make him among the luckiest.