GIF via Regular Car Reviews

It takes madness to understand the Porsche 928, a car that was once supposed to be the successor to the 911, but was more of a cushy grand tourer—especially when equipped with a sluggish four-speed automatic gearbox. Fortunately, Regular Car Reviews is truly insane, and they also got their hands on a 928 S4.

The 928, Mr. Regular explains in his usual Hunter S. Thompson Porsche voice, was what the Germans thought Americans wanted at the time. It was bigger, cushier, and easier to handle than its 911 brethren. It came equipped with a high-tech (for the time) V8 up front, where America likes its noisemakers to live. It was even (gasp!) watercooled.


The 928's risky styling was a true departure from the safe, slowly evolving 911 as well. I mean, have you seen the 928's headlamps when they’re flipped up? They’re a little unnerving, like eyes popping straight out of their sockets.

For better (the 911 lives on) or for worse (the 911 got fat), the 928 went unappreciated in its time. It was the stable, high-speed cruiser America wanted before America realized they wanted a Porsche for that.


Now, Mr. Regular says that another Porsche with an unnerving piece of bodywork has taken up the 928's torch: the peculiarly hunchbacked Panamera. America loves its luxobarge low-flying missiles after all—just three decades too late for 928 owners not to be stuck at the wassergekühlt kids’ table with us lowly 944-types.