The Need For Speed Movie Proves Hollywood Thinks Gearheads Are IdiotsJason Torchinsky3/12/14 2:20pmFiled to: Need For Speed51938EditPromoteShare to KinjaToggle Conversation toolsGo to permalinkYou know how you used to think that all movies based on video games suck (excepting, of course, 1975's intense psychosexual thriller Pong)? Well, you're still right. Need for Speed, though it tries very hard, is a movie that assumes car-lovers are idiots. And, as a car-lover and (rarely) occasional non-idiot, I'm sick of that.AdvertisementWhile I'll try not to really spoil huge plot points for you, I will give you this one spoiler for the movie: I found it to be deeply, deeply stupid. Sure, there's lots of fun cars in it and some pleasingly absurd driving, but none of that can make up for the clichéd, hackneyed plot and characters you've seen a billion times before.Also, I get that in movies part of the deal as a viewer is that there is some suspension of disbelief. That deal, however, can be abused, and Need for Speed slaps that unspoken agreement around like it caught it with its wife. The movie starts with an illegal, nighttime street race (which does have a lovely old Torino) in a sleepy northeastern town, just outside a big city. That race originates from a drive-in theater that has been continually playing Bullitt since the late '60s. That's fine, I can accept all that. Even the improbable number of eye-meltingly hot girls that seem to have flocked there, or the sheer scale of the event. I accept it all.AdvertisementUntil the race starts. Then we see that the race is monitored by a wall of monitors that looks like something NORAD requested and had rejected for budgetary reasons. And I think all this equipment is stuck under a bridge or something. Since that level of illegal street race tech is clearly not enough, we then find that the whole race has an aerial spotter in a Cessna helping out the protagonist's team with traffic and route information from the air.Are you fucking kidding me? An underground street race with air support? The ability for one of the characters to somehow just get access to airplanes and helicopters pretty much whenever the fuck he wants is a continuing theme throughout the movie, as well as flying them in ways that would normally close down a major city. It makes your belief-suspension glands hurt as they overproduce the hormone shuddupanddontaskitonin.The race eventually makes its way into the city, where the driving is the sort of drifty, skiddy, jumpy, absurd mess we've seen before in these movies. It's here that we're really introduced to the main character, That Guy From Breaking Bad, his rival, his ex-girl, and his younger friend/little brother surrogate who's so naive and innocent you know he'll be dead soon.The basic plot is one you've encountered before, again and again. Aaron Paul's character, Tobey Marshall, is one of those incredibly talented guys who works with his hands and does incredible things with cars in his own shop, yet somehow can't manage to make enough money to pay the mortgage on his shop. Tobey's old rival — the man who now is dating his ex — is a successful NASCAR driver and one-dimensional villain named Dino Brewster. Brewster gets Tobey a much-needed job by having him finish construction on Carroll Shelby's last project before he died, which ends up becoming the Hero Car of the movie: that Mustang that Ford told some exciting lies about last year. How a little, cash-strapped shop in a small town managed to build a car with an entire set of custom electronics including a heads-up display that rivals an F-22 isn't clear, but they managed, somehow.