There's a great moment in Captain America: The Winter Soldier where Cap adds Marvin Gaye's Trouble Man soundtrack to the list of things he needs to catch up on in 2014. While I too endorse that album, I noticed that something hugely important is conspicuously absent from his list: cars.
See, here's Captain America's deal, in case you don't know: He was turned into the world's first super soldier as part of a World War II experiment, sent off to punch Hitler in the face, and then frozen in a block of ice for decades after sacrificing himself to save the world. After seven decades as a Cap-sicle, he's got a lot of history and culture to get acquainted with.
I have to assume that Cap is at least a little bit of a gearhead. He rides around on a Harley-Davidson in the movies he's in, and he strikes me as the kind of guy who would have been into hot rods had he actually come back from the war un-frozen.
I feel like he really needs to add some sweet cars to his list of things to do. The Captain missed out on 70 years of advancements in automotive technology! Now he exists in a world where ordinary street cars can hit what were race car speeds in his time.
As such, I have compiled this helpful list of cars that I think Captain America really ought to drive. (I know he isn't real, jackass. Play along.) You'll notice they're all American cars because of course they are. What do you think the A on his head stands for? France?
A rear-mounted engine! Shatter-proof glass! A directional headlamp on the nose! A shockingly forward-thinking set of safety features! Preston Tucker's marvel was decades ahead of its time in many ways and is a shining symbol of American innovation. Sadly, it was doomed by a financial scandal, bad publicity and the harsh realities of getting a new car company off the ground. I think Cap would appreciate this car and the tale behind it.
Captain America is a guy America sent off to Europe to kick ass and take names. The Ford GT40 did pretty much the same thing, except instead of taking down Hydra, it crushed Enzo Ferrari's hopes and dreams. I love the GT40 and its glorious Le Mans victories because it shows America can mop the floor with people any time we damn well please. Try and stop us!
1967 Chevrolet Camaro Z/28
These days the Camaro Z/28 is back as a high-tech, stripped-out, hunkered down, unfathomably awesome track destroyer. Its original predecessor from 1967 was much the same. The first 302 cubic-inch Camaro Z/28 was known for being practically race-ready from the showroom floor, and today it remains one of the rarest and most valuable classic Camaros out there. Captain America needs to experience the golden age of American muscle, and this is one of its finest examples.
1992 Dodge Viper
The first Dodge Viper was a nasty, snarling, evil, 400 horsepower V10 beast. To say it was a handful to drive is pretty much a huge understatement — it's more accurate to say it will kill you, find your family, and then kill them too. While it's an incredible machine, it's probably best in the hands of a guy with superhuman strength and reflexes like Cap. I bet he could handle it just fine.
Hennssey Venom GT
The case could be made that the Texas-built, 270.49 MPH Hennessey Venom GT is the ultimate evolution of American speed. It recently topped the Bugatti Veyron Super Sport as being the fastest car in the world. Let the haters hate — the Venom GT seems unstoppable, a David that smashes Goliaths on the regular. I think that would be up Captain America's alley for sure.
What other great American cars would you suggest for a Super Solider who just woke up after a 70-year deep sleep?