The Aston Martin Valkyrie Won’t Let You Get Fat

We may earn a commission from links on this page.

The Aston Martin Valkyrie, Aston’s Formula One-inspired hypercar that will make over 1,000 horsepower and be street legal, should be a very fast car. But you already knew that. What you probably didn’t know is that the Valkyrie may end up being the most expensive weight-management program there is.

Sure, we jumped from cars to health pretty quickly there, but there’s a reason. CNBC reports that Aston Martin will mold the driver’s seat in the mid-engined Valkyrie, which will have both road and track-only versions, to a 3D scan of its owner’s body. That means you can’t get fat. It’s illegal.

Not illegal, maybe. But definitely NOT ALLOWED. Unless you want to re-do the 3D scan again, in which case it’s probably fine. You be any size you want to be. You’re beautiful as you are.

Advertisement

Early reports said this lovely weight-maintenance program, estimated to cost between $3 million and $4 million, is already sold out. The program also comes with a two-seater hypercar, which is a nice touch. Not many health programs out there come with cars—especially not Aston Martins. But then again, maybe those programs are just too expensive for us regular folk.

Advertisement

In all seriousness, a driver’s seat molded to one driver sounds a bit odd for a street car. Anyone else who gets in the car won’t be comfortable, which could at least be helpful in theft prevention. But if young Timmy wants to drive mom’s Valkyrie once he turns 16, he probably won’t be too comfortable. And if mom gains a few pounds, she probably won’t be, either.

Advertisement

But, of course, if you’ve got however many million to spend on a Valkyrie, you probably have the cash to get a remold done. So, eat that cookie, future Valkyrie owners, for life is short and cookies are a finite resource.

Your cash, however, obviously is not.