Well, here’s what’s got to be the fourth horseman of the apocalypse, the Alfa Romeo Stelvio. Alfa makes a crossover now. At least it is wildly powerful, with up to 510 horsepower.

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This is basically a lifted Alfa Romeo Giulia, using the same rear-drive based architecture. The Stelvio, it should be said, only gets all-wheel drive.

And yes, you can get the 510 horsepower, 2.9-liter twin-turbo V6, supposedly something like a Ferrari twin-turbo V8 with the end lopped off.

Also available will be the 2.0 liter turbo Alfa offers with 280 horsepower, and the it-has-taken-over-so-many-cars-that-Akon-got-jealous ZF 8-speed automatic. That 2.0 liter does get Fiat’s MultiAir hydraulic valve actuation tech that is definitely cool, if perhaps less than the savior we all hoped.

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There’s some very neat tech in the Quadrifoglio version, what with a twin-clutch torque vectoring system at the rear and a carbon fiber driveshaft. Carbon fiber brakes come with the car, too.

If you’re going to make an abhorrent crime against the automotive gods, at least make one hilariously quick.