Vidal Valladares Navas of Houston did something unthinkably selfish and moronic to propose to girlfriend Michelle Wycoff on Sunday: according to news reports, he blocked traffic on I-45—one of the busiest roads in the nation—to pop the question. Sorry, but if this is your method of proposing to a lady, I hope she tells you “no” and kicks you right in the balls on behalf of every Texas motorist.

KTRK tells the story behind this rage-worthy proposal:

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“This is a place where I took my girl on the second date. I stopped on my motorcycle and she loved the view,” Valladares said.

It was the perfect view of Houston’s lit up skyline. Wycoff fell in love with it.

Valladares fell in love with her. A year later and a half later, he decided to propose.

“I said, why not stop traffic for a couple of minutes and just propose right there,” he said.

On a highway? Risky but worth it, said Vidal.

Per KTRK, Valladares Navas told Wycoff that they were going to a White and Black theme party, so she got dressed up for the occasion and even got her nails done. Instead, eight cars full of friends and family followed Valladares Navas and Wycoff to the spot near the junction of I-45 and I-10.

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Those cars blocked traffic behind the couple to allow the would-be Romeo to perform his stupid proposal, much to the annoyance of everyone actually trying to use the freeway. Which, in Houston, is a ton of people.

Valladares Navas told KTRK:

Love makes you do stupid things and I wanted to do something big for my girl. Something that she will always remember.

I’m sorry, what? You can’t write this off as “love.” I feel as if you’re insulting stupid people by calling this “stupid” as well. It’s a bit worse than that. This is a death wish, particularly in Houston.

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Likewise, if you’re a peabrained basic who majored in communications to find a husband, you shouldn’t be writing this off as a romantic gesture, either. (Ahem, KTRK.)

Kudos to the Houston Press for calling out the fawning eye some of the local news have taken towards this, because it’s just plain irresponsible. If you think this gesture is charming, other professions beckon.

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Know who else wasn’t impressed? The Harris County District Attorney’s Office. They charged him with obstruction of highway, a Class B misdemeanor.

Let me spell it out in no uncertain terms: this is an extraordinarily dangerous stunt. Having to stop for who cares going on ahead of me in typical Houston gridlock is a nerve-wracking situation. You not only have to inch along in boredom, but you also have to worry if cars behind you will be able to stop in time as they catch up to parked traffic. Someone could have been hurt or killed because of this “romantic” nonsense.

“I never really thought about causing an accident. I thought about my girlfriend,” Valladares told the Houston Chronicle.

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Uh-huh. I’m pretty sure “never thought” sums it up.

It seems as though the happy couple may realized that broadcasting a potential misdemeanor on social media was a bad idea, though, given the rate at which their posts documenting the incident have disappeared from public view. Fortunately, KTRK’s ultra-corny news report—complete with interviews of the bride and groom to be—still remains live here for the curious.

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Topshot via cached Instagram video


Contact the author at stef.schrader@jalopnik.com.